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标题: 37岁的女人的寂寞与烦恼 [打印本页]

作者: 37岁的女人 时间: 2002-9-26 08:23
标题: 37岁的女人的寂寞与烦恼
与老公结婚十几年感情很好。现在孩子已大，按理应该满足，但不知道为何常常感
到寂寞。没有激情。和老公很少接吻，做爱时也没有甜言蜜语。艾！真没劲。

作者: windtower 时间: 2002-9-26 09:54
危险啊，，好好把握生活吧，可以多沟通一下，一个男人在异乡也很累阿

作者: NiceGuy123 时间: 2002-9-26 09:54
Haha, that is life. Take it easy

作者: LoveRat 时间: 2002-9-26 10:26
Fool around then as I have been doing. Do not force yourself. Being happy is most important as far as I understand.

作者: 37岁的女人 时间: 2002-9-26 10:46
在这个年龄的女人没有子格说这个话吗？难道感情只是年青人的专利吗？都说现在的
年情人思想开通过通情达理。可在此怎么看不到？

作者: LoveRat 时间: 2002-9-26 11:02
Hi, "37...",

"jmslucky.." is kidding you. Can not you see that?

It is a common knowledge for a woman of your age to know how to fool around (mess around) without hurting your "old husband" ("Lao Gong").

Be ashamed of you, "37...". You even do not know this simple common sense.

作者: 37岁的女人 时间: 2002-9-26 11:22
hi. loveRat;

I do not like joking with everyone here. i just tell you my some words from my heart. Be honest. Why do you laught at me. do not understand. eek! :confused: :confused: :confused:

作者: 37岁的女人 时间: 2002-9-26 11:28
for ..88.
yes, you are right, you mean i can talk the topic with my close friends. But i do not think is is a good idea. I do not like to give friends a boring thing. by the way, I do not have a frined who i can talk the topic with him/her.

作者: sayu_sayme 时间: 2002-9-26 11:31
怕你们的老婆出墙？急着涂吐沫淹人？男人有此想法正常，女人就是不懂常识？
SHIT LOGIC！

作者: sayu_sayme 时间: 2002-9-26 12:34
It's not easy to communicate on the real feeling from deep heart with others, especially here in Canada. Who care?
37... just posted her real feeling here on BBS, it's her way to relax.
Also many couples at this age meet the same situation. Why cann't we talk about this kind of subject?

作者: llw163 时间: 2002-9-26 13:37
幸福是什么？一百个人会有一百个答案。就看你想要什么了。如果你认为平安就是福，相信你现在就不会有困惑。如果你追求生活是一份轰轰烈烈的激情，你就按自己的方式去找吧。
天空里有烈日炎炎，有疾风暴雨，但更多的时日却是风和日丽。哪种时光是正常？

作者: happyquestion 时间: 2002-9-26 14:10
37岁的女人：联系我。

happyquestion@hotmail.com

作者: sayu_sayme 时间: 2002-9-26 14:17
To llw163:
Good comments!

天空里有烈日炎炎，有疾风暴雨，但更多的时日却是风和日丽。哪种时光都正常！

作者: sayu_sayme 时间: 2002-9-26 14:25
What I want to express is that we'd recognize and respect the real feeling of others.

作者: gagh 时间: 2002-9-26 14:52
如果，你喜欢把私人的感情，生活挂在墙上向公众展览，或是出售，那你怪不得有人捧场，有人唾弃。

作者: 送你一炮 时间: 2002-9-26 15:13
要了解女人,就应当多听听她们的心声...
不要把她们的红杏头给打回去了....

作者: peanut123 时间: 2002-9-26 15:14
be aware: just after one more year,you will be a 38.

作者: casinozsh 时间: 2002-9-26 15:56
交几个男朋友，增加点情趣，但可别玩真的。永远记住家庭不能丢，老公还是原装的好。不知你老公心胸宽广不？

作者: bjszmtl 时间: 2002-9-26 17:38
I like you Iwon, heihei!

作者: bjszmtl 时间: 2002-9-26 19:18
Iwon=Ovie=mw=m_w=妙龄老尼
Ilike mw=Ilike Iwon

作者: bjszmtl 时间: 2002-9-26 19:37
好说，一起从大板城捎回就是

作者: bjszmtl 时间: 2002-9-26 19:38
验明正身，就地正法

作者: llw163 时间: 2002-9-27 07:36
To sayu_sayme，
心里揣着明白扮糊涂－－这叫大智若愚。
满大脑都是糊涂浆子还想抖机灵－－这叫什么？
你最想表达的东东连你自己都没整明白呢。网上贴帖子，符合你胃口的才值得认同？你以为你是谁？从你嘴里流出来的不就是些 SHIT LOGIC吗。别给自己按上个翅膀就装天使了，还是先弄明白过人的日子去吧。

作者: CNN 时间: 2002-9-27 14:26
To 37,

If you dare, separate with your husband like wenxiao.

If you want happiness, think about yourself at first and then talk with your husband, what is wrong and what the life you are really like to have.

I hope you are not looking for somebody here!

作者: llw163 时间: 2002-9-27 15:16
即使爆着粗口，可说出的是一些话糙理不糙的直言，也不失令人敬重的性情中人。
有人一跑上来就先甩SHIT，随地大便完，撕张纸不清理那该擦的位置，一抹嘴就要表达什么对别人的respect。依此人的大粪逻辑，他们家祭祖的时候，先宽衣解带，从厕所里掏出几盆子SHIT摆在供案上，以此来表达对他们先人的respect。这种心智的人活到87，也是Some Body的缩写。懒得再搭理他/她。

作者: LoveRat 时间: 2002-9-27 15:29
To CNN,

Man, you are very naive. Suppose you are 37 and you were a woman of 37, sex with your Lao Gong is not exciting, instead, it is boring. No care, no love from your Lao Gong and most probably your Lao Gong is lustful and is messing around.

What you can do? talk to him? Please do not be so stupid unless you have met a rich prick who will marry you. Otherwise, separation with your LaoGong when you are 37 means you probably will spend your life alone. You will not feel good at all (you will not feel secure in many ways).

What will you do then?

Mess around in a very secret way so that nobody will be hurt.

We are human beings, not angels, not saints. Be realistic!

To 37,

I did not mean to mislead you or confuse you. In our culture, women who mess around are always despised. It is unfair, really!

Be happy! Life is really short. Do not wait until you are 38,39,40,41, ... 50,..., too late then.

Do not throw eggs to me. I am a love rat. This is my nature.

作者: wang8 时间: 2002-9-27 15:34
sigh.... we all will reach 37 one day.

作者: happygreen 时间: 2002-9-27 15:34
调整心情积极生活系列(一)

致与“37岁的女人” 有同感的女人们

(前几天看到一个名为“37岁的女人”的网友诉说自己与丈夫之间没有激情和浪漫，突然觉得自己应该对她说点什么，也希望以此与有同样经历的姐妹们共勉。)

有时你觉得生活无味，不知道自己为什么活着，或者与丈夫之间缺少浪漫情感，或者干脆没有什么原因，就是觉得无聊。这个时候你要记住：世界上不止你一个人有这样的感觉，你不是孤立的。

在MOTREAL，有很多社区组织可以帮助你。你可以联系CLSC，他们会很乐意告诉你在哪里你可以得到帮助及他们的名字和电话号码。你还可以在黄页上找一些心理诊所，有好多心理医生可以帮助你如何处理家庭关系，夫妻关系。不过这些诊所是收费的，一般每小时70元左右。我个人认为，应把寻求这些外部帮助作为最后的解决方案，因为这是被动的。自己主动化解内心的不快总是上策。

首先不妨改变一下生活方式，试着让自己快乐起来。去美发店换一种时髦点的发型，定期去美容院做FACIAL。改变一下MAKE UP 和口红的颜色，买几套漂亮的时装，鞋子和与之搭配的手包。面对镜子笑一笑，看看心情是否好了许多？女人一旦心情好了，对生活和家庭的态度也会变的。要记住女人打扮是为了取悦自己，不都是给别人看的。如果自己不能把自己逗乐了，还能指望别人？(有空的话我还要专门写一下这里的中国女人该如何打扮自己)

如果你正面临感情危机，应与老公及时沟通，方式因人而异。我建议选择外出旅游，去游览欧洲的名胜古迹或到南美洲享受海滨的太阳浴，豪华游船，都是互相沟通的好时机。好好计划，并不是很昂贵。如果能增进感情，花点钱是值得的。生命诚可贵，爱情价更高吗。

还可以多参加一些社区的活动，比如我们中国人在这里没有语言优势，但我们可以选择参加一些自己喜欢的体育活动。到你住的社区休闲中心参加羽毛球，排球，网球，足球，滑冰，滑雪等项目，你可以认识很多当地人，与他们交流，让他们了解在这里的中国人，也了解他们是怎样生活的，你就不会有身在异国，这里的事与我无关的感觉。这样你就慢慢走出了自己的小圈子，生活不只是老公和孩子，而且你与老公，孩子交流也有了新话题。

改变居室的色彩和布置也可以令灰色的生活焕然一新。你可以周末的时候与家人一起做一个周末装修计划，自己设计，自己动手粉刷墙壁，重新放置家俱。选色的时候可以大胆一点。比如红色让人充满激情，粉色浪漫温馨，绿色让人心旷神怡。儿童的房间适合多种色彩的组合。

另外每周或每两周带全家到餐馆去品尝一下不同风味的烹调也是很有趣的。有自己喜欢的，还可以在家里试着做。加拿大就是有这个好处，你可以吃到几乎世界上任何一种菜系，MONTREAL更是以此著称。如法国餐，意大利餐，墨西哥餐，希腊餐，韩国，日本，泰国和中餐就更不在话下。我不太在外面吃中餐，一是这里的中餐不地道，二是自己平时在家总吃中餐，出来吃饭想换一下形式和味道，给生活增加新鲜感。其实可以做的事很多很多，这里不一一列举了。

从你的感觉看，你并不想离婚。离婚从来不是一个好的解决办法。伤害无辜的孩子，伤害与你多年生活的人，也深深的伤害自己。这个阴影会一直跟着你，离婚不会使你快乐。所以应该用积极的态度来对待生活中的种种烦恼。烦恼是相对的。如果你心情愉快了，你就看不到那么多烦恼了，而且女人的心情受荷尔蒙水平的影响，有时就会自寻烦恼。了解自己，调整心情，乐观面对生活，做一个爱自己，爱家庭，爱丈夫，爱孩子的快乐的37岁的女人。

(稍后请看“致新来的朋友们”)

作者: Tim.Nice 时间: 2002-9-27 16:21
TO 37岁的女人:

To find a lover secretly.
It is the only solution. You are free to send me a mail, and I can help you to get solutions.

作者: CNN 时间: 2002-9-27 16:23
To LoveRat

It is terrible thought. I will be 37 soon, soon,

>>Mess around in a very secret way so that nobody will be hurt.

So, 37 is still lonely

作者: Tim.Nice 时间: 2002-9-27 16:27
CNN:
Sorry to hear that. So pathetic!

作者: jam 时间: 2002-9-27 17:00
To happygreen,

Can you tell how the Chinese women should do to make over themselves to look better? I find 90% of them don't wear makeup at all. They don't set hair. They don't dye hair. They don't care their outlook at all. They just don't care the other feelings. They all look almost the same.

作者: Tim.Nice 时间: 2002-9-27 19:44
To Jam:

You are right. and I want to add something.

Ladies:
Please pat attention you hygiene.
1: Please do not wear kitchen--smelling clothes.Otherwise, I can identify what you ate.

2: Clean teeth three times a day, also use mouthwash. Please do not gum, and there are a lot better products.

3: Update your apparel. Please dispose what you bought from in China, and do not buy any clothes in china again. Tips: You can buy plenty of cheap clothes in Montreal when shops do promotion. Many famous stores, including OGILVY, can give you very good prices often.

4: Try to smile.

Ps: If I have new ideas, I will let you know

Thank you

作者: loveluster 时间: 2002-9-28 15:43
To Tim,

I don't understand your point. It is nothing to do with loneliness. But you have a good advice for some women, let men have the smell from kicthen. wink

To 37

Age just is a number. Couple relationship just is one kind of many relationships. Women are 30's is the best time in life. They are not too old to have a life and not too young to be fooled.Open youself to all kind of opportunities. Find a lover may be a option if you are strong enough to handle it.

作者: Tim.Nice 时间: 2002-9-28 21:22
To loveluster:

To avoid being lonely, you must be attractive.

If you are attractive, you can get whatever you deserve.

I wish you are a super-hygienic lady, if I have chance to meet you.

I like cooking, but you will never smell any kitchen odor from me even you sleep with me.
:rolleyes:

作者: loveluster 时间: 2002-9-29 06:26
Tim,

Downtown people is not my type. And don't be so rude. You can not reach the inside of 37 year old woman. She just want to have a better life.

Get life your own. Don't sleep around here

作者: Tim.Nice 时间: 2002-9-29 10:39
loveluster:

I konw what your mind is. Your type a typical kind of "aged funny women"

You believe that " chinese living in downtown===no money, no car, poor.." However,, you may  be wrong.
Anyway, do you think an old women is very welcomed here?  Haha, you are funny!

Dare I sleep with you? maybe not, becasue I do not want to lose my interest to women.

Hope you can catch a silly man soon.

Good Luck

作者: Angel 时间: 2002-9-29 11:01
婚姻，是由琐碎堆积起来的。男人的责任，不仅是承诺的兑现，更是主动的关怀。

作者: LoveRat 时间: 2002-9-29 11:05
To Tim.Nice,

Man, you are not nice at all. You do not think our Chinese ladies are hygienic. You are wrong, man. As I said I have been messing around with different kinds of women, I have found our Chinese ladies are the most dilicate and tidy.

As to which clothes to wear, what are wrong with those ones you bought in China? Man, you are prejudiced.

To CNN,

Sorry that is a terrible thought, but it is an effective solution to some of us. The bottom line is not to let anyone hurt. You must be very careful when you choose the one you gonna have an affair (careful, kind, considerate ...etc).

To Loveluster,

I, LoveRat, and you, LoveLuster, are really a perfect match (i hope you are a lady since I have no interest in homosex). But, I live in a suburb however being poor and for the pupose of saving few hundreds of bucks a month.

作者: windtower 时间: 2002-9-29 11:15
All those things a process of the life. You have right to choose or accept.
If you can't undergo the things like this, you must bear the other kinds of life.
Whatever you choose, you will never turn back. It's ture. Don't be regret.

作者: loveluster 时间: 2002-9-29 21:28
To 37,

Where you are now? Seriuosly you just need to open up to your husband. No one here could give you a solution. Seems to me, communication is breaking down. You know better than anyone else what is the problem.A 37 years old woman should be old enough to know what you want.

to loverat,

At least, you are very honest. Enjoy your night life. I like sunshine though i feel being flattered by you. Continue your good work whatever it is! Life is good ha.

to Tim.Nice,
I thought you were a white something.You are a Chinese! Oops! Westmount is in downtown if i am right. Don't be such a baby, so defensive. No body here can hurt you. By the way, the dresses in OGILVY are mostly made in China and a kind of too formal.

作者: 37岁的女人 时间: 2002-9-30 08:19
hi everyone:
Thank you for your help.

but I am confused now, :confused: :confused: :confused: someone say that I should know how to do for an 37 old lady. why do I come here if I know it? eek! eek!

作者: wang8 时间: 2002-9-30 09:29
i bet this 37 years old woman is an 20 years old man!

作者: sayu_sayme 时间: 2002-9-30 10:06
TO 37岁的女人:
My sister, may we communicate with each other? Sincerely!
my email: sayu_sayme162@hotmail.com

作者: NiceGuy123 时间: 2002-10-1 09:53
TO 37岁的女人:

Do whatever you want to do.

If you love your husband, and he loves you, you may try to improve your life quality(mentally and physically)

If you can not have good sex with you husband and no good solution, you may have a ****ing buddy

.....

simple :rolleyes:

作者: m_w 时间: 2002-10-1 10:46
妹, 过来跟你问声好, 读书练功去也!

作者: freddy 时间: 2002-10-1 11:41
I have the same problem with my wife at the same age:
没有激情, 和wife很少接吻，做爱时也没有甜言蜜语, after the marrige for over ten years.
37岁的女人, can u help me?

作者: LoveRat 时间: 2002-10-1 15:29
It seems there are 123 nice guys here.

I agree that if you and your spouse (partner) deeply love each other, in my opinion, you have to bear some suffering resulting from lack of sexual passion.But it is difficult to keep the passionate love without passionate sex.

At least this suits me.

So the solution, for those ones who are still free to mess around, is to find out first,before you commit yourselves, if you and your sex partner are a perfect match in terms of libido and if you will get bored of having sex with your partner in the long run.

For those who are married, no solution but to have a secret affair if you need to make yourself happy (Ladies, do not seek divorce or separation if you are over 40 something unless you are exceptionally confident).

作者: Party 时间: 2002-10-2 18:16
Vow loverat

作者: circle 时间: 2002-10-2 19:03
37岁的女人, I underatand your feeling. I like to talk with you personally. Please send me an email to YAY646@hotmail.com

作者: loveluster 时间: 2002-10-2 22:06
Freddy,

How do your wife feel about you? 10 years is a lot for a marriage for one of those days. 50% marriages are end up divorced. On top of that, there are a lot dead marriages, people just be afraid of making change in their lifes. So this is life, we have to live with it....

作者: enjoytalk 时间: 2002-10-30 11:39
To 37 lady.
37 years old is gold age for a lady, You have strong desire now. I know that you are happy with your family. Just want to fins a little excited. I give you a idea. Try to find a family to exchang wife/Husband. The you both will be happy. Be honest.

作者: seriousplayer 时间: 2002-10-30 12:53
真羡慕你们还能感情很好。
看来我们大家的婚姻质量都不怎么样啊。
这真是一个普遍问题。
该怎样提高性的质量呢？
结婚久了就没激情了。性要新鲜的吧。

对于婚外恋，如果你的婚姻和性的质量又不是很高的话，如果有机会，请你如实回答：你会不愿意吗？反正我做不出否定的回答。只是不要失控而毁了家庭。

无论如何我们都不该指责 37LADY。

HAPPYGREEN 的话是好听的话，可我们已听的太多。事实上问题有着太大的惯性而几乎不可解决。

JAM说的对，很多CHINESE女士都不注意外表，可看看我们男士吧，还不如女士们。穿着啦踏，满脸沧桑，走过来一股头油味儿，这儿不缺热水啊。

37岁的女人，很愿意和你，还有其他已婚女士讨论性的问题，你们到底需要什么？

--看来有必要加一个性爱论坛了。

作者: Cocoz 时间: 2002-10-30 19:55
从明天起，做一个勇敢的人

脸厚，心硬，敢爱敢弃

从明天起，关心自己的感受与钱袋

面朝人海，管它是不是春暖花开

作者: NiceGuy123 时间: 2002-10-31 16:50
37 yrs old lady is a little bit old, and I prefer ladies under 35 yrs old.

Sex is like a kind of sports, or games. To adults, it is not a big issue. eek! eek! eek! eek!

作者: 滚滚红尘 时间: 2002-10-31 17:29
Loverat:
>>Mess around in a very secret way so that nobody will be hurt.

Finally, you betraied your female rat, and you hurted the person with whom you have got some feeling, and even you hurted also yourself.

作者: 滚滚红尘 时间: 2002-10-31 17:30
sorry, hurt, not hurnted

作者: Irenefj 时间: 2002-11-2 11:45
本人三十六岁。我觉得这个年纪的女人有烦恼有寂寞，但更具人生经验、成熟和智慧。

作者: 色咪咪 时间: 2002-11-4 07:33
Let me make love to you , then u will feel better, maybe not forever, but at least valid for one week

作者: sh58 时间: 2002-11-4 09:23
寂寞的女人可以和我联系：lovemaker2002cn@yahoo.com
本人30，身体健壮，浪漫体贴。

作者: 35岁的女人 时间: 2002-11-5 14:40
我自认为我现在还算幸福,虽说不富有,但是拥有一个很好的丈夫,我们make love时也很愉快,但是不知道为什么最近我的感情总是在走私.前几个月上班乘车的路上第一次遇见了他,那种只有在初恋时的触电的感觉又出现了,之后的每一天我都能在同一节车厢遇见他,我经常躲避他投过来的热切的目光,避免使他产生任何错觉,因为我有丈夫和孩子.后来因为某些原因我改变了乘车的路线,但是对他的思念却越来越深了.上个星期我又遇见了他,从他眼中流露出来的分明是相隔2个月再一次相遇的惊喜,我垂下眼睛逃避了,但是我的心却在热切地盼望.我真的很惆怅,是不是婚姻久了的人都会有这种感觉?我不幸福还是我需要一些刺激?易或需要新鲜感?人的感情为什么会这么复杂?

作者: 雪山飞虎 时间: 2002-11-5 21:45
因为陌生，所以勇敢；因为距离，所以美丽。

作者: 雪山飞虎 时间: 2002-11-5 21:47
因为陌生，所以勇敢；因为距离，所以美丽。

soaring333@hotmail.com

作者: asdfdsa 时间: 2002-11-6 00:44
i love mature woman, since they know how to love and cherish feeling

作者: newcomer1008 时间: 2002-11-10 00:04
女人到了这个年龄会分化，大部分都是面目狰狞，言语粗鄙；一小部分变得成熟，大度包容，很有味道。

作者: f-117 时间: 2002-11-10 08:18
35,37岁女人，这是你们潜意识里知道，过了40岁，就是老太婆了，那时没人对你们再赶兴趣了。

作者: Princess 时间: 2002-11-10 11:21
落后！美国人认为在六十岁前都年轻！女人四十才是一知花！
这个三十多的女人有点自作多情！！心里有鬼，抓风抓影！幻想自己当个女主角！这种人最可怜的是二十岁时没经历！过后又要经历一下！有贼心没贼胆！

作者: jimgzca 时间: 2002-11-10 13:04
哇,不看不知道.一看还真奇妙.在这生活单调乏味的"艰难大".还是有繁荣昌盛的一面.爱花爱草人士,只要多多留意定有收获.而那些辛勤的园丁可要多多小心哦.在为园子辛勤劳作的同时,也要密切留意花草的长势哦.不要等花草长过了蔷,还未及时修剪.还怕她吃不好,用不好.不断地加肥施养.那可就贻笑大方了.

作者: hello_5 时间: 2002-11-19 19:44
hi

作者: wangminjiang 时间: 2002-11-20 12:01
Hi, r u guys talking about love or sex? i am confused....

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