<!---->
<!---->自我的不幸在网上公开以来，虽然有个别人不理解而冷嘲热讽之外，很多网友均赋予绝大的同情和勉励，尤其是当【惜别】一文贴出后。在此特表谢意。虽然以我个人的渺小无法改变现实生活的种种不公和歧视，但是我曲折艰辛的生活经历，我的教训和信息的积累或许能为后来人提供某些方面的借鉴，从而令他们少走弯路。何乐而不为？
<!---->自这些文章贴出后，亦有不少网友因遭受委屈蒙骗前来求助探讨的――其中不乏生意遭受蒙骗的，被不良律师玩弄的敲诈的，合同欺诈的，夫妻不和的，买房卖房租房纠纷的，婚姻受骗的及初次失足的，还有因受心病困扰的。。。其中亦有深陷逆境无所适从心灰意懒对生活产生绝望的。
<!---->作为同是天涯沦落人从逆境中闯荡过来的我之所以愿意为他们伸出援手，因为他们的今天正是我昨天无助绝望的写照。为此我非常理解他们此刻的心境更同情他们的处境。因为他们需要的不仅仅是信息，需要人们理解和尊重，更需要的是有人可以倾诉，令他们的情绪得到释放，借以捂平浮躁低落和消沉的心态。
<!---->在此恳望身处逆境的朋友们接受我一个忠告：事实上，我们的种种不幸往往都是人为造成的。而在世风日下，欲望横流的今天更为尤甚。因此调整心态对如何适应是更为重要了。顺其自然，万事不刻意追求。命运虽总是不尽人意，但是如果心态调整好了，生活应该还是多姿多彩，充满情趣的。
<!---->不要过于自责，我们都属于凡夫俗子，人无完人，孰能无过？栽跟斗，上当遭骗，犯错并不可怕，可怕的是我们无法从中吸取教训屡道覆辙而始终执迷不悟。既然你我已经醒悟，那么为何不考虑补救而自绝于世？三思而后行，天无绝人之路。
<!---->其实，相信我们各自的生活命运自始自终均有其自己的轨迹，然而往往人为的因素令我们偏离了。如能及时发现调整，那么尚能回到属于自己的轨迹运行；但如人为的干扰过于强烈而自身又刻意追求，或许便再也无缘回到自身的轨迹继续顺利运行了。
<!---->因此 面对生活，正视人生。不要过于在意周围的议论，只要做到问心无愧便无须多加理会。相信随着时间的推移或可捂平你的伤痛而令诸事能稍近人意。当然这并不是意味着消极放弃；不过当你能够从另一个角度去面对身外之物的物质财富和俗事，那时你便会处之泰然，沉着应付了。
<!---->和神奇微妙的浩瀚的宇宙大自然相比，我们是实在太无知渺小了。因此正视人生，泰然处之是解开我们心锁的最好的方法。古语说“塞翁失马，焉知祸福”，退一步海阔天空，万事不要太执着。当然做起来很难，但是当你终于闯过了这一关，你便会得到超脱从而再次发现生活还是美好的；而这个 “ 美好 ” 不是一般人能感觉体会的。
<!---->我们不仅仅要对自己负责，亦必须对我们的家人负责；如已身为父母，那么更应该对我们的子女负责。金钱不能代替一切。孩子光有母亲或只有父亲没有母亲同样是不够的。现身说法：我发妻不幸谢世，十年来我既当爹又当娘，然而无论我如何努力，我女儿非但不理解不感激，反而与我反目相向。。。当支持不住时看看我是如何闯过这十年的或许我的遭遇经历能为你解开心锁。携手共勉求助探讨的专用电子信箱：[email="peterpan1668@gmail.com"]peterpan1668@gmail.com[/email]
<!---->出门在外，尤其置身异国他乡因语言、肤色的不同及环境和文化的变迁，令我们的生活和事业更加艰辛不易，以至消沉彷徨，不知所措。因此显得我们更需要互相提携勉励。让我们不计富贵贫贱，不计教育层次，不计地位高低，不计区域出身，为我，为你，为我们的子孙后代在海外闯出美好的生活和成功的事业奉献自己的绵力。
Post by kongguyoulan
非常感谢你的热心相助, 无奈最近俗事缠身, 无法静下心来, 希望他日能够有机会和你共同探讨, 得到指点一二.
作者: peterpan1668 时间: 2006-12-8 13:34
愿博爱眷顾每一阶层，让幸福常驻人间直到永远！【惜别*后记】
作者: g wang 时间: 2006-12-8 14:27
标题: 写得好!
文章重要的是情真意切，先生正是用了真情写的。
作者: peterpan1668 时间: 2007-12-30 19:24
琴，
在这十二周年的忌辰，
谨寄上我的哀思，
并祝愿你在天国得以超脱升华而再生。
作者: sherry118 时间: 2007-12-31 13:14
标题: 好人一生平安
先生是位好人！
我相信你妻子在天堂也一定感受到你的深情。
也许，先走的是比较幸福的，留下来的，也并不是天生的强者，只是活着的还有我们的责任，在那些责任之下，不能轻言消失和死亡。
http://sherryking118.spaces.live.com
作者: 2dian 时间: 2007-12-31 13:24
这就是爱。。。
流泪感动。。。
作者: peterpan1668 时间: 2008-1-2 10:53
谢谢你的勉励。我只是在做我应该也是我有能力做的。物质富有只是一个方面；而精神财富才是我们真正的拥有－－尤其是我们生活在物欲横流的金钱世界。
拜读了你的博客，非常感动。。。虽然我最近因一些琐事很忙碌而没有全部读完，但我以收藏了并成为我阅读的一个部分。人性本来是脆弱的，因此我们更应该互相勉励，互助互爱。
作者: peterpan1668 时间: 2008-1-2 10:55
谢谢你的勉励。
祝你和你的家人新年快乐，万事胜意！
Post by 2dian
这就是爱。。。
流泪感动。。。
作者: mfeous 时间: 2008-1-8 14:30
i recieved your reply, but i don't know why someone delete the whole thread.
- allow me to ask you one question: suppose you had won your case in the court, would you change the way how you perceive the canada and quebec justice system? why or why not?
i really apprecite your intentions and all the efforts you made to help the others, but i can not agree on one thing you said at least: we chinese are too soft, we need to stand up to fight for our interests. personlly i think it is the opposite way: we chinese are too aggressive, not physcially in most of cases, but in our mind. this is becasue of the known reason: we are broght up by the mandate: we need to fight for the best, we have compete with each other to get the houseing, school..... anyting you can name it. to prove that, you can miss this phenomenon in this forum, there are so many people want to sue someone for just a tiny issue.
to fit in a new socity, we need time and patience. what is more, we need to change our mind set. fighting is definitely not the right way to solve any problems, rather than putt us in more troubles.
i am not saying we should not pretect our rights. however, we must learn to be more tolerent to others! isn/t what the buddist teaching in which you believe?
作者: 圆明园 时间: 2008-1-8 15:22
mfeous, i can't agree more with you.
it is very important to have rule of law.
however, to make it work we must build trust, trust between individuals.
together we can build trust.
1. to be fair, any exchange must be mutually beneficial
2. to be honest, yesterday's deal may look stupid, but we must honor our commitment
3. if we do it all the time, we will have a trust worthy reputation, it will make everything easy.
作者: peterpan1668 时间: 2008-1-9 08:59
To mfeous: Look at over our overseas Chinese society--yes, lots of Chinese have money, because we work harder; but we didn't receive equal treatment from the majority society in many ways. Yes, today the situation is better than before, but still. It's hard to explain to you unless you might experience it by your own.
To 圆明园: I agreed with you and you made very good points here
"together we can build trust. " Let's try our best!
By the way, the thread removed to 社区活动公告 Bulletin Board:
老潘， 我建议你挑头成立一个移民间互相帮助， 互相排解烦恼的组织。【回复MONTREAL1999】
Welcome to join the discussion HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL
作者: tracyzhu 时间: 2008-1-9 10:53
崇拜下，祝福下~~~有需要的就发帖，虽然我刚来什么都不懂，但也折服于你们所做的
作者: 圆明园 时间: 2008-1-9 11:07
my kind of trust is inclusive and universal
作者: mfeous 时间: 2008-1-9 14:44
"lots of Chinese have money, because we work harder"
this is the root for lots of problems. because of the money, lots of us work like a dog, no life at all, because of money or career, lots of us even send their babies back to china and let their grandparnets to take care of them.....
some people might argue they have no choices. it is nonesense! why do you need a big house? why do you have to have cable? why do you need cellphone..., worst of worst, even if you don't have any of above things, the goverment will not let you starve and die.
re ajust our thinking and have a balanced view of the life, this is what i am talking about
i think you overreacted to say "we didn't receive equal treatment from the majority society in many ways". frankly speaking, i think this is a firely justed society in many ways, but defineity it is not perfect.
i had similar expreince, but i don't blame the system. simply you and i can not use one or 2 inccidents to make the conclusion.
Post by peterpan1668
To mfeous: Look at over our overseas Chinese society--yes, lots of Chinese have money, because we work harder; but we didn't receive equal treatment from the majority society in many ways. Yes, today the situation is better than before, but still. It's hard to explain to you unless you might experience it by your own.
To 圆明园: I agreed with you and you made very good points here "together we can build trust. " Let's try our best!
By the way, the thread removed to 社区活动公告 Bulletin Board:
老潘， 我建议你挑头成立一个移民间互相帮助， 互相排解烦恼的组织。【回复MONTREAL1999】
Welcome to join the discussion HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL
作者: peterpan1668 时间: 2008-1-9 15:32
For certain point, I agreed with you--and it made me recall about 10 years ago when I was chatting with girl from Indonisia who hate our Chinese with no reason...
We were chatting each other a few weeks already, and everything seem smooth also gentle with all the coversation we had; but suddenly she stopped to chat with me when I told her that I am a Chinese.
To make a story short, I brought her back and asking her why, and I made her understood the reason why a lot of Chinese has business to run also own properties, which just a few of them even they are the original people here (it happened at most of eastern/Southern countries in Asian).
Finally we became friends again. You made a good point here as you mentioned; but how to solution? To be involved with majority sociaty, involve with the politic and the legal justice system.
Yes, we do have to adjust ourselves to feet in the majority society, but It not enough to accept as you mentioned of "the goverment will not let you starve and die. " because we are equal as same like the majority people here.
As you believe I am over reacting with the treatment I received; not a problem, I am willing to meet you in person and to let you see by your own eyes before you confirm your this conclusion
Nice to exchange our thoughts; but I would more pleased to discuss with you at the thread I already link it to you:
社区活动公告 Bulletin Board:
老潘， 我建议你挑头成立一个移民间互相帮助， 互相排解烦恼的组织。【回复MONTREAL1999】
Post by mfeous
"lots of Chinese have money, because we work harder"
this is the root for lots of problems. because of the money, lots of us work like a dog, no life at all, because of money or career, lots of us even send their babies back to china and let their grandparnets to take care of them.....
some people might argue they have no choices. it is nonesense! why do you need a big house? why do you have to have cable? why do you need cellphone..., worst of worst, even if you don't have any of above things, the goverment will not let you starve and die.
re ajust our thinking and have a balanced view of the life, this is what i am talking about
i think you overreacted to say "we didn't receive equal treatment from the majority society in many ways". frankly speaking, i think this is a firely justed society in many ways, but defineity it is not perfect.
i had similar expreince, but i don't blame the system. simply you and i can not use one or 2 inccidents to make the conclusion.
作者: peterpan1668 时间: 2008-1-29 04:10
标题: 一份唯一而特殊的生日礼物
一份唯一而特殊的生日礼物
关于“LIFE EXPERIENCE& ADVICE”的感想
女儿终于成人了！二十数载含辛茹苦，人生征途的种种坎坷，尤其是当我遗妻撒手人寰，除了中年丧妻的阵阵隐痛、生意的失意和人生旅途的彷徨之外，仍不得不拖着疲惫、脆弱的身子既当爹又当妈的设法将遭受多种打击的爱女抚养成人，这份心情只有自已才能体会。。。
遗妻含冤谢世了。然活着的仍得活下去――尤其是尚肩负抚育下一代的重任，使得身心万分疲惫的我不得不挣扎着和接踵不断的厄运拼搏抗争。为了不失言对遗妻的许诺，即便为了生存不得不羞愧地靠食物银行的接济生存，仍坚持让爱女继续就读私立中学。
一日三餐是对付过去了，自己的穿着亦可将就；但是再穷女儿的衣服还得体面。从爱女十二岁丧母，每当她的生日更成了我的心病。每年除了以我和她母亲的名义送上一份贺卡，总设法为她准备一份薄礼以尽做父亲的心意；可是当她十六周岁生日的来临，却实在把我彻底愁坏了。
大凡就读私立的的家庭多少有些儿家底，然我女儿偏偏是个例外。十六周岁的生日无论就中西方文化而言都是一件大事；女儿在那期间整天穿梭于同学和朋友之间的十六年华的派对之中暂时忘却了自身的境况。然而这一天总得到来。。。
爱 女长得的确是人见人爱。在大陆，整个街坊、单位的同事和朋友均将其娇惯得如小公主一般；即便来到了加国，除了还是那么甜美，她那善解人意和宽容令其仍在我 新的朋友圈内一如既往的获得宠爱。然家事不幸非但重创了我的心态，也无可避免地波及到了她的成长并在她的心灵烙上了伤痛的烙印。。。
十 六周岁对每个人生来说都是一个重大的转折，况且她还是一个没了娘的孩子？看看她周围每个孩子十六周岁生日的风光，囊中羞涩的我欲实在是一无所措。。。记得 接她由学校回来的路上，女儿错愕地睁着一双泪眼凝望着我――因为她实在无法相信握这既当爹又当妈的父亲竟然会把自己唯一的女儿十六周岁的生日忘了一干二 净。。。
望着泪水洗面的女儿，我除了默默陪着流泪，人儿仿佛成了一具僵硬的雕塑。除了钱财买来的礼物，思绪再三，几乎一无所有的我还能拿什么作为爱女的生日礼物？躺在床上，渐渐的，天花板成了我人生一幕幕坎坷历程的屏幕――由此，【LIFE EXPERIENCE & ADVICE】便成了女儿十六周岁生日唯一的特殊礼物了：
LIFE EXPERIENCE & ADVICE
Never hurt or trust anyone easily unless it proved
Never give up easily unless you found a reason
Keep eyes open, listen a message & try much less to open a mouth
Keep contact with your friends & support each other
Don’t let everyone to read your mind
Don’t make any promises easily unless you could offer it
Always knew what you doing & why you did it
Always looking forward to watch your next steppes
Refresh what’s happened in the day before go to your bed
Never feel useless because you already did your Best
By then go ahead:
Take every opportunity & advantage to enjoy everymoment of your life!
Wrote it for my daughter Rosy’s 16th birthday& edited on her engagement day.
作者: 2dian 时间: 2008-1-29 08:07
伟大的父爱。
作者: 福娃 时间: 2008-1-29 10:51
我流泪了,为孩子,也为先生的坎坷.
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惜别－谨献给我的爱妻翠琴
一、缅怀 
二、童年
三、初恋
四、相爱
五、出国 
六、创业
七、玄机
八、不测 
九、永别 ，津液化痰，上蒙神窍。。。等等等等。这便是忧郁症和癔病的病因病理了。
