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标题: Sha Yan签名售书会 [打印本页]

作者: xhu    时间: 2012-2-21 15:18
标题: Sha Yan签名售书会
本人暨于2月23,24日两日于唐人街长盛广场(Swatow Plaza)举办中英文书签名售书会。

作家:Sha Yan(笔名),中文名胡晓聪
时间:11:00-17:00
地点:唐人街长盛广场一楼展厅

欢迎众纷丝届时光临。
作者: 玉瞻阁    时间: 2012-2-22 08:58
我出的一本书的英文评论。

Chinese Incarnation
Sha Yan
Lulu
978-0-557-16996-2
One Star (out of Five)
Sha Yan shares more closely in a tradition more recent than this book’s title would suggest. His attention to sound and love of consonance speaks to the language poets—although it is unclear as to whether that kinship is intentional or not.
Yan is the author of two previous volumes, Yuan’s Place and Imminent Ferns, and he writes in both Chinese and English. In this collection, the poet, currently a resident of Canada, takes a number of everyday places and situations and strives to wring from them a greater resonance. He sees children playing, enjoys a cup of coffee, witnesses autumn. Unfortunately, the majority of the poems add up to little more than their situations and an urge for the reader to be attentive and to enjoy life. These messages are worthy enough, but offer little that is new.
Yan does use words in new ways: swash, sleigh, dough, and other words repeat throughout the book, but the way that readers are meant to understand the words is unclear. For instance, in “Key, key in the ray,” Yan writes, “Key, key in the ray / Sleigh, in the adjacent desert spirit / Key is not a lie / And ray is written, may.” Meaning eludes, but what is clear is the enjoyment of sound—the assonance of the long a sound in contrast to the hard k. Unfortunately, without meaning, the sound ultimately becomes a pleasurable pattern but little more. “Sleigh” is reused repeatedly and sometimes with great potential. In “Sleigh in the Ash” the very title creates a provocative image and one need not work hard to imagine blades sluicing through ash and ember, but the poet never arrives at the image. He never actually explores or broadens the idea.
作者: 玉瞻阁    时间: 2012-2-22 09:01
比较阳春白雪的几本书,希望能借人望有点销路。
作者: xhu    时间: 2012-3-25 18:07
呵呵!那个华侨新报前几个礼拜登了我一个专题,可我因为重新格式化电脑原稿丢了,报纸也因为懒每剪下来,不然可以在这贴下,涨点人气。。。。。。。。。
作者: xhu    时间: 2012-4-19 16:32
贴一下签名售书会做的POSTER。

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作者: Z!Z    时间: 2012-4-21 02:12
弱弱问一句,老胡的签名售书售了几本?
作者: xhu    时间: 2012-4-21 06:20
Post by Z!Z;3077500
弱弱问一句,老胡的签名售书售了几本?

瞧你,又在打听商业秘密了。
作者: Z!Z     时间: 2012-4-21 23:30
Post by xhu;3077517
瞧你,又在打听商业秘密了。

嘿嘿,老胡也忒俗了,还商业秘密呢,还以为您老是一雅人呐
作者: FUJJJ    时间: 2012-4-23 10:05
他/她是谁呀?
作者: bbnmontreal    时间: 2012-4-25 22:50
蒙城唯一才子你都不知道???签售那天队伍可是从chinatown排到了西岛,再从西岛排到了南岸。

建议你买一本他的书,读上两页,保证省下你英语短文改病句书的钱,至于内容,立马改变你三观。;)
作者: Z!Z    时间: 2012-4-26 17:43
Post by 玉瞻阁;3049685
我出的一本书的英文评论。

Chinese Incarnation
Sha Yan
Lulu
978-0-557-16996-2
One Star (out of Five)
Sha Yan shares more closely in a tradition more recent than this book’s title would suggest. His attention to sound and love of consonance speaks to the language poets—although it is unclear as to whether that kinship is intentional or not.
Yan is the author of two previous volumes, Yuan’s Place and Imminent Ferns, and he writes in both Chinese and English. In this collection, the poet, currently a resident of Canada, takes a number of everyday places and situations and strives to wring from them a greater resonance. He sees children playing, enjoys a cup of coffee, witnesses autumn. Unfortunately, the majority of the poems add up to little more than their situations and an urge for the reader to be attentive and to enjoy life. These messages are worthy enough, but offer little that is new.
Yan does use words in new ways: swash, sleigh, dough, and other words repeat throughout the book, but the way that readers are meant to understand the words is unclear. For instance, in “Key, key in the ray,” Yan writes, “Key, key in the ray / Sleigh, in the adjacent desert spirit / Key is not a lie / And ray is written, may.” Meaning eludes, but what is clear is the enjoyment of sound—the assonance of the long a sound in contrast to the hard k. Unfortunately, without meaning, the sound ultimately becomes a pleasurable pattern but little more. “Sleigh” is reused repeatedly and sometimes with great potential. In “Sleigh in the Ash” the very title creates a provocative image and one need not work hard to imagine blades sluicing through ash and ember, but the poet never arrives at the image. He never actually explores or broadens the idea.

俺的英文很差,远没达到老胡写英文诗的水平

可否解释一下红字部分的意思
作者: xhu    时间: 2012-4-27 12:06
Post by bbnmontreal;3079835
蒙城唯一才子你都不知道???签售那天队伍可是从chinatown排到了西岛,再从西岛排到了南岸。

建议你买一本他的书,读上两页,保证省下你英语短文改病句书的钱,至于内容,立马改变你三观。;)


我喜欢用短句子,简洁,一目了然。觉得长的句子拖拖拉拉,难表达,读者也不一定喜欢。
作者: bbnmontreal    时间: 2012-4-28 01:43
Post by xhu;3080539
我喜欢用短句子,简洁,一目了然。觉得长的句子拖拖拉拉,难表达,读者也不一定喜欢。


好样的,看读者给你的评价就知道

One Star (out of Five)
作者: xhu    时间: 2012-5-1 10:09
我的一篇原创散文“春归梦湖园”在最近一期华侨新报上发表了。我用的笔名是岑子,我的另一笔名就是沙雁了,这个用得多些。
作者: xhu    时间: 2012-5-1 13:25
春归梦湖园原文。

春归梦湖园

作者:岑子

春天又一次降临在这个北美的大城市,蒙特利尔。随着雪水和寒冰的消融,瞬然间,春天来了。
经历了又一个寒冷的冬天的我,脱下大衣,换上应季的新装。随着舒醒了的春天乍暖还寒的天气,早晨醒来,泡上一杯浓浓的咖啡,然后坐在初春阳光斜洒的桌旁,已能感觉到这初春的微微暖意。吃完早餐,喝完了咖啡,迫切的我已是整装待发,拿好了手里的相机。今天,在这初春的早晨,我要到城里的中国花园”梦湖园”里走一走,再把这初春的梦湖园里的美好景致拍下来。
初春的空气很是清新,来到梦湖园,格外感觉到空气的干净和着那阳光下的微微暖意。随着曲折的小径,我慢慢走进了梦湖园。小径旁有着美好的景致,四周的大树,都是特意安排种植的,颇夺天功。行在小径上,看看四周的景物,还偶有寻幽探径的味道呢。
梦湖园有着一坐洞开的楼阁式的大门,旁边还立着两座石狮子。偶一看像中国古代大官家的府第,有点气派,上挂有横匾,书着梦湖园三字。走进大门,内中是一个不大不小的院子。院子有些别致,院侧种有一颗人可环报的花树,树上花开得正盛。院中正面靠墙是三座独孤立着的假山石,石旁种有一株曲折的老梅树,旁边是一座圆拱门。这院子有着江南风味,院子中间如果再加一座照壁,却也可与古代江南一带做大官的人家相比了。
出了圆拱门,里面突然壑然开朗起来。迎面是一个人工湖,也是不大不小,湖旁有一座假山。随着湖边的细鹅卵石小径而行,可遇到一座拱桥。湖的四周随着小径是大的和小的亭台楼榭。在小径上面走着,偶尔你还能看到曲折的梅树和说不上名的花树,还有一些大大小小的嶙峋山石。初春天气,一些花树开得正盛,树才刚开始抽芽。刚刚迎来了春天。大的假山立在人工堆的后山上,假山旁边是一个大的阁楼。后山上满是树,有小山径直通上的后面。出了后山,也就出了梦湖园了。
整个梦湖园给人的最大感觉就是它有着一些江南园林的格致和痕迹,在这初春时节,格外秀丽。梦湖园是上世纪八十年代上海市与蒙特利尔市结为姊妹城市后上海园林局为蒙市造的,学的就是江南的园林。此园在加拿大独此一家,加国没有别的地方有此景致了。每年在不同的时候,蒙特利尔市的市民和各地来蒙特利尔观光旅游的客人,都会驻足于梦湖园。他们偶尔惊叹于中国园林的巧夺天功之余,而渡过一天美好的时光。
在这个春天来临的时候,又游梦湖园。看着园内的无限春光,不禁为中国人觉得骄傲。梦湖园的美丽景致和颇似江南的园林风光,立于这北美的蒙特利尔市,这倒也是中国人民的一大造化之功呢。

作者: 玉瞻阁    时间: 2012-5-1 17:19
自我感觉良好哈!

:wink::wink:
作者: bbnmontreal    时间: 2012-5-2 10:44
初中水平的描述风景作文也能上蒙城报纸,说明现在经济真不好,有才华的都忙着赚钱没时间写,报社空白版面太多又得凑数给广告商看,所以只能退而求其次了。并且在蒙城,还退得挺远。
作者: xhu    时间: 2012-5-3 10:46
Post by bbnmontreal;3082892
初中水平的描述风景作文也能上蒙城报纸,说明现在经济真不好,有才华的都忙着赚钱没时间写,报社空白版面太多又得凑数给广告商看,所以只能退而求其次了。并且在蒙城,还退得挺远。

wait for you to write it. 100% essay is just that striking.
作者: s030604    时间: 2012-5-3 13:49
什么情况?打酱油路过
作者: xhu    时间: 2012-5-15 06:15
"文非不饰“,文人还真不是升平盛世的裱饰。
作者: namstra    时间: 2012-7-3 10:20
为胡兄清流集之序:


今岁盛夏,胡君晓聪先生嘱吾为其新书《清流集》诗册作序。
观《清流集》凡数十首古体诗,通册气遂浑古,轩冕垂衫,抑杨顿挫,倾还旧观。虽不见江涛崩离之桀骜,但于浩瀚万千中,不乏天机博发,
含英咀华之妙思。豁然心胸间,或琢或璞,皆成诗意。读其诗如读其人,自由洒脱,不揖铜金,浪漫乎奔放,率意乎自清,足以反观谢灵
运,陶渊明辈矣。
胡先生数十年研习笔墨诗词之道,探求玉璞古玩之趣,于诗词书画古玩,皆有所得,今见其诗,非澹泊之人难以遂此妙境,古人礼风,复见
乎今也。
公元2011年夏日,亦樵。
作者: namstra    时间: 2012-7-3 10:28
标题: 为清流集题写书名,并作序:
[ATTACH=CONFIG]467673[/ATTACH]



为胡兄清流集之序:

今岁盛夏,胡君晓聪先生嘱吾为其新书《清流集》诗册作序。
观《清流集》凡数十首古体诗,通册气遂浑古,轩冕垂衫,抑杨顿挫,倾还旧观。虽不见江涛崩离之桀骜,但于浩瀚万千中,不乏天机博发,
含英咀华之妙思。豁然心胸间,或琢或璞,皆成诗意。读其诗如读其人,自由洒脱,不揖铜金,浪漫乎奔放,率意乎自清,足以反观谢灵
运,陶渊明辈矣。
胡先生数十年研习笔墨诗词之道,探求玉璞古玩之趣,于诗词书画古玩,皆有所得,今见其诗,非澹泊之人难以遂此妙境,古人礼风,复见
乎今也。
公元2011年夏日,亦樵。

DSC_0703%E2%80%98 - Copy.jpg (0 Bytes, 下载次数: 365)

DSC_0703%E2%80%98 - Copy.jpg

作者: xhu    时间: 2012-11-6 17:57
Christmas is coming up finally this year after the Halloween. I spinned, and I give some words. If you sleigh, I will sleigh, if you don't, I will sleigh too. I am a Christian, you know. Wish me good luck. Here is the poem this year, like usual, old work, but I think it is fine, satisfied!

Jingle Bells sing

Sha Yan

Jingle Bells sing
spare the link elephant green
links spin, defray
leach and spin the clingy
Open the bottle the gifts lay
sleazy the rain, the clean
the right lane spin
and the flint stones flash
Light up a cigarette
pop the lighter in your jeans
junks spin and the sleigh the ride green
ride, the Santa Claus ride on the lane
Elephant ride
kids say and glean
merge to the lane and spare the candle
last line, the Jingle Bells and the rain
作者: dadaly    时间: 2012-11-7 03:47
晚上喝了点酒睡不着,看SINO上这个帖子又冒上来了,实在没忍住。。。。。
您2012年发的曾经刊登在某报纸的大作-春归梦湖园。(看了一半。)
文中第二自然段,目测150字左右(喝多了看字重影只能目测,见谅)先后四次提及“初春”。如果起强调作用,这种文法我只能说是拙劣的。
同一段落出现“乍暖还寒”。提及这个季节的文章中,90%会用到这个词(尤其在中学作文中)。就像如果一篇作文需要描写一个人的眼睛时,大部分人会用到“炯炯有神”。正经写东西,或者喜欢写东西的人基本不会用这些中学时代已经用烂的词。
四自然段第一句,您在描述一扇门。请注意!是一 扇 门。举个例子,马,一匹马。牛,一头牛。羊,一只羊。门,一扇门。您明白么?一扇门,而不是一坐门。即使您的门论座,那也应该是座,而不是坐。其次第二句中,为什么要用“偶一看”呢?偶,2000年以来很多人用在网络对话中是我的意思。您这里图然冒出这么一句,偶差点笑喷了。
另外,您应该是有文化有常识的人。江南历来以富商居多,不像官宦比排场,比官爵,比面圣时皇帝看了他几次,说了几句话。他们能比的只有家里的院子,比厨房的厨子。所以才有了苏州园林,才有了江南菜系种的精,细,用料的讲究。江南历来有气派有讲究的院子,都是富商家的。官场中人,没有这么好的院子。
真的想看完您的作品。但是下一个自然段看到第一句您用到了“壑然开朗”时,对不起我真的不能再继续了。
另,介绍一下我自己。向天发誓,我中专毕业,没什么文化。向来对于以文人持仰视态度。所以我非文人,如果您以为我以上写这些是文人相轻,对不起你错了。如果您自称人文,又认为我是在文人相轻,我认为您是在骂我。
快到年底了,在sino看着您卖假玉,假字,假画,假古董折腾了一年了。说实话我喜欢古玩,我也在各大中外古玩书画网站都看到过您的身影。看着您先自抬身价,又看着您被人奚落,说实话我心里挺难受的。您说您出国了糊弄糊弄洋鬼子就算了,自己人您也不放过啊?
最后,祝!2013年您能幸福。
作者: xhu    时间: 2012-11-7 06:24
Post by dadaly;3170948
晚上喝了点酒睡不着,看SINO上这个帖子又冒上来了,实在没忍住。。。。。
您2012年发的曾经刊登在某报纸的大作-春归梦湖园。(看了一半。)
文中第二自然段,目测150字左右(喝多了看字重影只能目测,见谅)先后四次提及“初春”。如果起强调作用,这种文法我只能说是拙劣的。
同一段落出现“乍暖还寒”。提及这个季节的文章中,90%会用到这个词(尤其在中学作文中)。就像如果一篇作文需要描写一个人的眼睛时,大部分人会用到“炯炯有神”。正经写东西,或者喜欢写东西的人基本不会用这些中学时代已经用烂的词。
四自然段第一句,您在描述一扇门。请注意!是一 扇 门。举个例子,马,一匹马。牛,一头牛。羊,一只羊。门,一扇门。您明白么?一扇门,而不是一坐门。即使您的门论座,那也应该是座,而不是坐。其次第二句中,为什么要用“偶一看”呢?偶,2000年以来很多人用在网络对话中是我的意思。您这里图然冒出这么一句,偶差点笑喷了。
另外,您应该是有文化有常识的人。江南历来以富商居多,不像官宦比排场,比官爵,比面圣时皇帝看了他几次,说了几句话。他们能比的只有家里的院子,比厨房的厨子。所以才有了苏州园林,才有了江南菜系种的精,细,用料的讲究。江南历来有气派有讲究的院子,都是富商家的。官场中人,没有这么好的院子。
真的想看完您的作品。但是下一个自然段看到第一句您用到了“壑然开朗”时,对不起我真的不能再继续了。
另,介绍一下我自己。向天发誓,我中专毕业,没什么文化。向来对于以文人持仰视态度。所以我非文人,如果您以为我以上写这些是文人相轻,对不起你错了。如果您自称人文,又认为我是在文人相轻,我认为您是在骂我。
快到年底了,在sino看着您卖假玉,假字,假画,假古董折腾了一年了。说实话我喜欢古玩,我也在各大中外古玩书画网站都看到过您的身影。看着您先自抬身价,又看着您被人奚落,说实话我心里挺难受的。您说您出国了糊弄糊弄洋鬼子就算了,自己人您也不放过啊?
最后,祝!2013年您能幸福。

你是男生吧?我说呢男童鞋怎么像女生一样喋喋不休,没事找事厄!
作者: xhu    时间: 2012-11-7 06:28
Post by namstra;3113825

[ATTACH=CONFIG]467673[/ATTACH]



为胡兄清流集之序:

今岁盛夏,胡君晓聪先生嘱吾为其新书《清流集》诗册作序。
观《清流集》凡数十首古体诗,通册气遂浑古,轩冕垂衫,抑杨顿挫,倾还旧观。虽不见江涛崩离之桀骜,但于浩瀚万千中,不乏天机博发,
含英咀华之妙思。豁然心胸间,或琢或璞,皆成诗意。读其诗如读其人,自由洒脱,不揖铜金,浪漫乎奔放,率意乎自清,足以反观谢灵
运,陶渊明辈矣。
胡先生数十年研习笔墨诗词之道,探求玉璞古玩之趣,于诗词书画古玩,皆有所得,今见其诗,非澹泊之人难以遂此妙境,古人礼风,复见
乎今也。
公元2011年夏日,亦樵。

谢亦樵兄高义!
作者: xhu    时间: 2013-4-17 20:06
本人作品,中式英文梅花诗一首.

About little

SHA YAN

I bought a little scarlet red candle
And a little penguin clay candle holder
Set it burning, little lit
Faint light, sparkles in this little day
                        
Little spirit
Flawless throughout the little day
About little, very little
That little job interview didn’t go very bad

Little job, little sprawl
Very little fine wine
Signifies the red candle
Little flesh and blood

Very little, this little
Feeling little, like a grass
That is too little
And thought, it will be a little
作者: reveplus    时间: 2013-4-17 21:05
标题: One Star (out of Five)
下次书展什么时候啊,上次竟然错过了!!!!!
作者: xhu    时间: 2013-4-17 21:25
Post by reveplus;3232312
下次书展什么时候啊,上次竟然错过了!!!!!

个人书展(哈哈,虽然我有一个公司),下次时间还没定.想过再办的.谢谢兄关注.
作者: xhu    时间: 2013-6-19 09:30
upupup
作者: zhouhui    时间: 2013-6-20 08:13
Post by xhu;3082372
我的一篇原创散文“春归梦湖园”在最近一期华侨新报上发表了。我用的笔名是岑子,我的另一笔名就是沙雁了,这个用得多些。


读过围城不?原话不记得了,意思是说,有些作家水平太高,一个名字难以承受盛名,因此需要用很多个笔名来分担
作者: zhouhui    时间: 2013-6-20 08:30
Post by xhu;3082470
春归梦湖园原文。。。。

散文高等的,或者是语言质朴,回味深远,如“我的父亲”;或者是辞藻华美,纯粹的文学享受,如“二都赋”。

散文低等的,思想朴实,语言无味,如同嚼蜡,参见我小学的大作“春游笔记”

称不上散文的,思想空洞,无病呻吟,胡乱堆砌修辞,参见老兄的大作“春归梦湖园”
作者: zhouhui    时间: 2013-6-20 08:39
Post by xhu;3170950
你是男生吧?我说呢男童鞋怎么像女生一样喋喋不休,没事找事厄!

别人的评论都是言之有物,对事不对人;而你完完全全的对人不对事。谁高谁低:confused::confused::confused:
作者: 玉瞻阁    时间: 2013-6-20 16:58
Post by zhouhui;3259958
读过围城不?原话不记得了,意思是说,有些作家水平太高,一个名字难以承受盛名,因此需要用很多个笔名来分担

读过围城,一般。再说,这样的俏皮笑话反映的是事实吗?在古代中国,作家,书画家很多笔名是反映其人的风骨。钱钟书误导读者,恶心了他了。
作者: 玉瞻阁    时间: 2013-6-20 17:02
Post by zhouhui;3259962
散文高等的,或者是语言质朴,回味深远,如“我的父亲”;或者是辞藻华美,纯粹的文学享受,如“二都赋”。

散文低等的,思想朴实,语言无味,如同嚼蜡,参见我小学的大作“春游笔记”

称不上散文的,思想空洞,无病呻吟,胡乱堆砌修辞,参见老兄的大作“春归梦湖园”

散文最讲究的是意境,我最很的就是言辞华丽,最喜欢的就是语言朴实,意境清新自然。旧时新文学运动名家多的就是朴实,自然的文风。
作者: 玉瞻阁    时间: 2013-6-20 17:12
好的,贴篇本人的英文散文,不,中式英文散文,2005年作品哦!

Suburban


Author:Sha Yan

When I was living in US, I lived in small cities such as Albany and Santa Clara in California. They are different from city of San Francisco, they are the Silicon Valley Satellites. San Francisco is not a big business city. It is more…, more tourism like city. I liked the metropolitan cable cars from downtown to Fisherman’s Wharf. So I liked Golden Gate bridge seeing from the Pacific coast. San Francisco has a lot of sight for me to see.

I worked in both Berkeley and Milpitas and did not live too far. It was about fifteen minutes drive on the freeway from Santa Clara to my company in Milpitas. Silicon Valley are made of these small towns; and it adapts livings of many high-tech professionals like me rather well in these setting. I enjoyed small city living, suburban living. It avoids the crowd, the traffic and many environmental aspects like large sound of the major cities. Even in the city of San Francisco, the traffic is a big problem. And the pollution and the large sound of the city would not make you appreciate the living.

I have lived in North America for fourteen years and spent much of my time living in Montreal. Montreal has population of nearly three million and its high way facility are among the worst in North America. Even though its living condition are among the best in the world, it is still a crowded and polluted city. And many times, the sound of cars driving around in the city, especially in the downtown area, is annoying. I happened to spend more time living in the suburban area, also the satellite of the city; and I quite enjoy the living in my area. It is the peacefulness and quietness of the environment that I liked the most.

These areas of my living in North America were converted from farms some time ago, before I came to this place. Both Silicon Valley and Montreal country side were farms before. When I was driving in the local roads in Santa Clara, I can see the clear trace of its past. They were some large lands which have not been yet utilized. I can imagine there were corns grown in the farms sometimes in the past. And in Montreal suburb, especially extending to East part of the town, you can see the same. Both in Silicon Valley and in Montreal, there were residential areas with some areas planned from industrial usage.

I enjoyed suburban living. Mainly the environment aspects of the living make me appreciative. In these places, not only you get away from the crowded downtown area and its traffic, the quietness and the fresh air of the suburban area also keeps you a refreshing mind. You can think more, play more in these quiet and peaceful places; then you can appreciate more of your life. They are like country but not the country. It is the living in the place reminds you the beautifulness of life. And more than often in one’s life, it is the life itself has the importance.

Living in suburban area is like drinking fresh water, refreshing and clean. Even though some areas of the suburb is full of plants and businesses. The planned residential area is clear of pollution with ease local traffic. In these days industrial world, the pollutions of the air and water were of our urgent concern. And many of these pollution were caused by the car emission, industrial pollution and water mistreatment. Well, you can not get rid of the pollution, even in the suburb, but you can definitely control it. With our control of the pollution with our industrial standards, the suburban living can be more and more enjoyable.

As I woke up in the morning and brewed me a cup of coffee, sit down in front of my notebook computer, checked my emails and started to write, I took a deep breath and let the fresh air running through my lung. My mind and body was relaxing and refreshing. The air, the water were clean. Enjoyable, I thought. With clear thoughts and refreshing mind, I started to think of living beings and the environment, and many many more of life’s aspect and expectancy. Appreciate it, I would. For the living of my life in these suburban area and my life in general. If it is not your life in concern, what else it can be? I thought.
作者: 玉瞻阁    时间: 2013-6-20 17:33
Post by dadaly;3170948
晚上喝了点酒睡不着,看SINO上这个帖子又冒上来了,实在没忍住。。。。。
您2012年发的曾经刊登在某报纸的大作-春归梦湖园。(看了一半。)
文中第二自然段,目测150字左右(喝多了看字重影只能目测,见谅)先后四次提及“初春”。如果起强调作用,这种文法我只能说是拙劣的。
同一段落出现“乍暖还寒”。提及这个季节的文章中,90%会用到这个词(尤其在中学作文中)。就像如果一篇作文需要描写一个人的眼睛时,大部分人会用到“炯炯有神”。正经写东西,或者喜欢写东西的人基本不会用这些中学时代已经用烂的词。
四自然段第一句,您在描述一扇门。请注意!是一 扇 门。举个例子,马,一匹马。牛,一头牛。羊,一只羊。门,一扇门。您明白么?一扇门,而不是一坐门。即使您的门论座,那也应该是座,而不是坐。其次第二句中,为什么要用“偶一看”呢?偶,2000年以来很多人用在网络对话中是我的意思。您这里图然冒出这么一句,偶差点笑喷了。
另外,您应该是有文化有常识的人。江南历来以富商居多,不像官宦比排场,比官爵,比面圣时皇帝看了他几次,说了几句话。他们能比的只有家里的院子,比厨房的厨子。所以才有了苏州园林,才有了江南菜系种的精,细,用料的讲究。江南历来有气派有讲究的院子,都是富商家的。官场中人,没有这么好的院子。
真的想看完您的作品。但是下一个自然段看到第一句您用到了“壑然开朗”时,对不起我真的不能再继续了。
另,介绍一下我自己。向天发誓,我中专毕业,没什么文化。向来对于以文人持仰视态度。所以我非文人,如果您以为我以上写这些是文人相轻,对不起你错了。如果您自称人文,又认为我是在文人相轻,我认为您是在骂我。
快到年底了,在sino看着您卖假玉,假字,假画,假古董折腾了一年了。说实话我喜欢古玩,我也在各大中外古玩书画网站都看到过您的身影。看着您先自抬身价,又看着您被人奚落,说实话我心里挺难受的。您说您出国了糊弄糊弄洋鬼子就算了,自己人您也不放过啊?
最后,祝!2013年您能幸福。

我只用了一个乍暖还寒不是?中文也没有第二个成语反映冬春相接的天气啊!看你绕来绕去玩个语言游戏就是来打击我,一个文人.
作者: 玉瞻阁    时间: 2013-6-20 18:17
Yan红了,在美加叫得开的作家.诗人,虽然书没卖几本.
作者: 玉瞻阁    时间: 2013-6-20 18:30
中国人很现实,文人们是弱势群体,在中国是饱受打击的一群人.他/她怕你,他/她打击你.他/她不怕你,他/她也打击你.他/她真的怕你么,他们怕的是你的一支笔,怕的是你的水品,作品.老实说吧,这些年谁还看书啊?忙着圈钱都来不及.文人相轻是事实,从古到今饱受打击是事实.骨头轻的那个早就找好一个方向.投靠一下,为统治阶级卖命.文非不饰,昧着良心写文章为统治者摇旗呐喊的多了去了.
作者: 玉瞻阁    时间: 2013-6-20 18:37
加拿大美国好,有自自由由的创作空间.不像在中国,狭隘的,忌妒文人作家书画家的人太多.十年浩劫一把火烧遍全中国,为毛某人卖命的太多太多,恐怖.我啊!该珍惜这边的创作环境了.做生意,成天钱钱钱的!没办法,要生存.嘿嘿!还有三个稿子在这里的.
作者: 玉瞻阁    时间: 2013-6-20 19:32
老美网站读者给的一点好评,

PoetryChoose Sally
*Reviews
5/31/2011Joyce Bell
View Member's SiteSWEET AND TENDER...YOUNG LOVE SEALED WITH YOUR HEART'S CHOICE. A BEAUTIFUL WORK, ENJOYED. THANKS FOR SHARING. LOVE, BLESSINGS & FAITH...JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS


网址: http://www.authorsden.com/shayan
作者: 玉瞻阁    时间: 2013-6-20 19:37
美国网站的一些统计数字。

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作者: 玉瞻阁    时间: 2013-6-20 21:24
你装聋做哑好像就能成就什么似的?黑桃三,坏,坏,还是坏!
作者: xhu    时间: 2016-1-13 10:22
好几年没怎么用我xhu网名登录了,上来看看。怎么最近连新年SINO都怎么动静。算是想年大家和一前对诗的好玩日子。新年快到了,还想好好玩下。




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