有苦难言

Thanks everybody!

But I don't know how to do. what are the procedures?

we don't have any money to share. the only "cai chan"is my daughter.

Sister Pian Yao, how are you? i sent you a letter, but not receive your reply. I'm worrying about you be beated again by that man.

Show up if you are ok.or find a public computer.

有苦难言

yes, though my mother never went to their home, but she noticed that he didnot know the"ji jie" when he came to my home. my mother didn't agree with the marrage from the very beginning. At first we didn't work in the same city, and my mother's reason was we did not work in the same place would cause numerous problems in the future life because she experienced teh hardship of not working in the same city. But then he was transfered to the city i work, and she found that might be the arrangement of "liao tian ye" she agreed reluctantly.

God knows why i was so foolish at that time.But the real conflict was after we had teh baby who is a girl.

sweet bee

我告诉你一个成长在那样家庭的孩子的心情，就算这辈子什么都不缺，就算父母都她再好都是没用的。看着母亲被打没感觉的孩子，你养了也白养。如果有感觉，那么你每次被打的时候你的孩子都在伤心，如果你也心疼，那么就应该负起一个母亲的责任去解决问题。因为你不解决对她是没好处的，如果孩子有血性些，迟早会有家庭战争的，那时候很有可能是你丈夫送她去警察局。那是你选错的男人，最后却要她去结束那个错误，很不公平的。即使最保守的估计，在那样的环境长到，是学不会很好的和异性相处的，没有信任感，没有家庭安全感。
我不想抱怨什么，母亲为我付出了很多，甚至那样的家庭也是她认为抱拳下来对我的成长比较有利的，可事实上错了，不过生活就是这样的，他们现在年纪都大了，远在万里外，我还是会担心妈妈，还是会听到偶尔不管她怎么掩饰都有的委屈，我心里还是会很难受，可那是她的生活，她有选择的权利。可不要说那是因为我，我不需要的，做女儿的都不需要的，那不是一个好的家庭环境，也不是好的教育方式，也是没必要的牺牲。这些话我从来没和妈妈说过，因为牺牲都有了，我还能说什么，唯一能做的就是努力些，让她在我这里有满足。快30年过去计较什么都晚了，可你还年轻吧，不要再让你的孩子再继续我的悲剧了，生活该怎么就怎么，没有人可以不尊重别人，违背规则应该受到惩罚，家应该有爱，也应该有原则。不要在你孩子身上重复我的悲剧。

迂腐

有苦难言，认真分析下大家的发言，为什么劝分的多，劝和的少？别当局者迷了。

有苦难言

Thanks everybody! I am concerning this problem seriously.

yes, i was always reflecting on myself to see whether i did something wrong or not proper, and often asked him to do so and often told him that life is a life long art, we have a lot to learn through the hardship and bitterness. i even pray to God help me find a right way to solve this problem without hurting too much my daughter, myself and even him.

Sweet bee, thanks for telling me your experience,it's so alert to me!

superstar

To You Ku Nan Yan:
      After reading your story,I am very worry about you,and I can't believe in that you can live with this kind of man without thinking divorce with him.For me,I can't bear anyone in the world who has even beaten me except my parents,and I will leave someone who do something not nice right away even if he would be my husband,and never come back with him.In my opinion,everybody living in the world must be independent,that is not only to have a job for yourself and also to be firm in your heart,yet,something you are having in heart very bravely is the most important thing as well.If I were you,I would find out a chance to talk with my husband and ask him if he still like to keep the family with me.If so,I ask him never beat me again,and if not, I will divorce with him right away that I ask the court to permise my daughter living with me,and I don't care or afraid anything bad could be happened in future,because I am independence and working in weekdays,and I also never mind if he work in the same unit as the one where I am working,because he doesn't have any relationship with me after divorce and he won't have any right to focus on my business or my future life.I am student here and not working,however,I am very confidence and I think of that I will have a very good future if I keep my heart to be firm not matter whether you are here or in China.Anyway,you are not alone unhappy here and I like to talk with you or go somewhere together when you need.You can write me to my e-mail box,'winlife2002_2003@yahoo.com'.Hope to hear from you soon.Please be happy.         

superstar

You should always believe in yourself as what I do usually.Please think about your daughter and you have to make a decision very soon,for both of you two,and I am sure that you can take good care for your daughter by yourself if you divorce with the man who you should throw away many years ago.Don't mind his relatives,his parents,his sister or someone who has the same blood with him if they are not nice to you and if they never respect you,and you can them do the same.Believe me S.V.P.,the only person you can depend on and you can trust except your parents is yourself.You could be feel pain if you are divorced because you have been with each other for many years,on the other hand,the one who you have even loved before had already changed and he is not the one who is not valuable anymore for you to stay,to love or to live with.Please forget about him and thinking more for your daughter and your future life that she is waiting for you giving her a nice life together.         

big-brother-big

This stinky forum is full of psycho.

superstar

to discovery:
      I prefer to the second one.  :confused:    :confused:    :confused:

superstar

to discovery:
     How about number 7 and how about yourself.  :confused:    :confused:    :confused: