南瓜虫

在海外的华人，由于同在异乡为异客的缘故，其婚姻的稳定性相对要牢固一些。第一代华裔移民在心态上很难把异乡当成己乡，这种不安和孤独，使大家对家庭这种精神的归宿营地格外重视。因此，对海外华人的婚姻造成威胁的，大多并不是来自第三者，而是来自许多华人不愿承认而又无法摆脱的传统中国文化。

看到一次电视采访，主持人问几位丈夫：“如果你的父母与太太发生矛盾，你会听谁的？”他们异口同声地回答：“听太太的，我已经结婚，太太是我生活的重心。”而在海外华人中间，因为父母的介入，而使原本相爱的夫妻最终离异的事情屡见不鲜。分析原因有以下几点：

其一，小俩口在理念和行为上不自觉融入了许多西方的文化。但是老人对于“西化”的儿媳多少看不顺眼。

其二，在父母的意识里，儿子有了出息就要为全家人做贡献。至于儿子的小家庭则并不重要，小俩口缺少自己的生活空间。

其三，老人到了海外普遍感到十分寂寞，既不喜欢国外，又不想离开儿子，所以心中充满怨恨，难免在生活上会与晚辈起摩擦。

独步太空

有道理。顶

tjandtm2002

说得太好了！

Blink182

guess your really looking towards glory. :rolleyes:
take a look in the law section, scroll around and see how many posts are on divorce. what is the average percentage of now days divorce?  
do people change when they settle in a new living?
i'm not talking about a who cheats on who thing, it's about life , living, and respect.
look in some of the posts by others,
happy marriages, and suddenly you realized that we all could of had a better living with someone else, we're all adults, we can sit down at the dinner table and talk anything through, we're old enough to understand, respect, forgive eachother. and handel our own duties.
we've all seen our own backyards in china, and then you stand on the street of new york, buildings falling on you, you take a coffee, sit back waiting for the trafic jam on washington bridge, the night lights of new york, and that's what makes it the empire state.  maybe you haven't know, but things will never be the same again.
you've loved your wife, this beautiful woman, who was once the most important of you..... i just wonder, how these people, how could they ever turn there backs on someone who was never meant to be hurt.
and there's the other type, worked hard bought their own house, never said a no to their wife, had kids, but lived for respons and hardly ever made any noise.
.....man this is a big topic, there's so much to write about, and it's now 3am in the morning, and i've got class at 7am later. so, got to-a wink.
chao

VENUS

Post by Royzhang
Exactly. I have some real cases for that. But how to deal with that problem? any idea?

We are talking about a "hugh" issue here, as a starter social agencies could organize more activities to help elderly to build their social circle, more activities, i.e. get a life of their own.  Rest, community workers . . has to do lots of work.

montpetit

我觉得不至于把，你自己的爸妈品质心态不好，不要就以为所有人的爸妈都喜欢干涉儿女的生活呀。
我觉得最大的威胁倒是有些中国男的本身的问题。

南瓜虫

一位在美国经营人寿保险生意的华裔总裁说：“至少有90％的华人家庭，都在不同程度上面临棘手的婆媳问题。”遗憾的是，中国人的家庭成员之间，很少具备相互体谅与协商的传统，认为只有听顺父母的才是正确的。实际上很多的中国男人不敢得罪父母半句。一位60岁的男士就此发表见解：“最大的原因，是这些中国男人从没有被父母当做成人来对待，环境造成他们心态上的不成熟。”