蓝月一度

Hi, there
It seems time goes so fast and changed so many things. I was occupied just started by sending hello messages on AFF(AsiaFriendFinder). It is an unbelievable story. I'm wondering the status I am on, where I am and what I am doing.
I don't feel good at the moment and hopefully somebody may listen to me. somebody that doesn't know me much and maybe never to meet in the real world.
I got to know a girl from AFF who's working here and came from the same city as I stayed in China. In fact later I found that she's a classmate of my good friend's. We kept on touching by phone and finally I just couldn't stop the impulse dating her. Maybe it's not a good time for starting the love. I own nearly nothing here. In fact, I was doing labor job to fight against the sharp decline of my bank account figure. But I do feel lonely and eager to reach out for friends, especially opposite sex.
But things change swift. She just moved to a new unit in a condo, living alone there. I often went over to help her with some heavy works. Night falls, the growing attraction came over us. I slept over night at her place. It was just a beginning, I know it's not good for me or her to stay like this, but we just can't help keeping stay together. She was in her preparation for a coming exam full time at home and I quit my labor job to accompany her nearly all day and night. I was in heaven. She's the style I appreciate, just like my ex-girl friend who parted me when I went aboard. She's tall, about 168cm, nice sweet looking, with a well shaped body and a bright brain. After immigration to Canada, she completed an MBA degree and got a professional job here. My sensitive heart sometimes is so weak to bear an indeliberate looking down from her on my poor status. Ｉ had doubt about such relationship and asked her if I could be called as her boy friend. She said, please don't ask such questions that would impact her. Her subtle answer implied that she never took me even as boy friend! of course I shouldn't have expected that much. The red wine dimples and glittering under the dimmed light, she was everything to me while drinking with her. But after the whole bottle drains up, what would be left to me, I ask myself.
Now I am at my home, drawn back from her, wondering all past is a dream or my illusion. Just like what was shown in the movie the Matrix, I was only plugged into another world and got up just now.

yayaya2003

Of course, it hurts.  But as what I could feel here, she has never taken you as her boyfriend, but has only taken advantage from you... as a male friend.  Poor guy...

vvmm

男儿当自强

蓝月一度

This story didn't end as expected. It went on for a few months. She nearly rang me everyday if we're not together and we spent nearly all our spare time together and the whole world seemed to have only us two. as time goes by, we felt the air frozen thinking of there might be no future going on like this. She asked me if she could date others and I took an easy nod and said "sure, it's your freedom". At that time she had been dating some guys. It hurts badly when she tried to conceal the truth and lie to me. But I said nothing and pretended knowing nothing. We quarrelled for several times because finally I just can't stand and asked her to tell the truth rather than to tell a lie. Now the status goes even stranger. She consults me for how to deal with her new candidates. She does take me as a FRIEND.  frown

蓝月一度

But the case is worse in fact. FRIEND is not adequate to describe our relationship. I didn't mention there's another factor that combine us, sex. Alone in Toronto, I had been living a abstinent life before getting her. And that was absolutely not ME. During the 100 days since we got to know we had nearly 100 times sex, that is awesome. We both satisfied with each other on that issue. but that only maintains an incomplete love. I know what she's seeking for, a colorful life that a warm cozy family would provide her. But that also depends on a good communication and harmony mentally and physically, which is a problem for her other candidates. So the way as the time being is she takes each part she wanted from different guys, waiting for her Hero to emerge to terminate this distorted solution.