Di Di

告诉你了你也不理解,你去学学教育学巴. 关于人成长过程的几个因素的基本关系是你要搞清的基本观念.爱因斯坦是在所谓的专业的教育人士的给予的指导下造就的吗?
大陆来的移民有多少是父母没什么文化的家庭成长起来的?
父母解答错了就失去孩子的信任了?就引发孩子的叛逆性了?看来不是神就不能当父母了:eek!: 关键是如何面对孩子说我不知道,如何告诉孩子我愿意帮助.如何告诉孩子人都犯错误.不说了,太累.

Post by lunala_
我赞同父母在孩子成长过程中的重要性，但并不能苛求每一个父母都是称职的父母和每一个父母都能够有足够的时间去培养了解自己的孩子。

十几岁的小孩是成长过程中的重要阶段，如果父母给出的意见带有一定的错误性，就会失去小孩的信任感，进而产生对于父母的叛逆性，但我们不能肯定父母给的所有意见都是正确的，不是么？

父母并不能代替一个专业的教育人士。或者说一个专业的教育人士给出的建议会更合理适合小孩的成长和对于社会的适应。 这个也正是现在华人圈所缺少的人才。至少这类人能够给父母一定的指导去如何指引孩子的成长。

Di Di

I hope the following might help people understand the process of seeking the answer is more important than the answer itself:

The object of teaching a child is to enable him/her to get along without a teacher.
                                       ---------- Elbert Hubbard

Di Di

:eek!uote<Do you really understand the meaning of Elbert Hubbard? Mr Elbert indicates the direction of education. However, it cann't be applied to anyone since it is not everybody who is eligible to be a teacher.>

Be honestly, I don't really understand.  I didn't ask the host/hostess if he/she is seeking long term or short term goal of her doughter's education. I took an assumption that the parent to do so just have best wishes for her daughter to get success for the whole life instead of  to learn so called "answer of knowledge" from somebody else. That is why I gave my suggestions.

By the way, I do not get your question.  I will try to ask my English teacher on Monday.

Di Di

Post by lunala_
cloudrain, 赞同你的说法。

Di Di:不知道你是否注意过周围的移民父母，他们在培养孩子过程中有很多苦衷，有些事情甚至是力不从心，压力不仅仅来自孩子，还有自身的工作学习等等。

陪孩子去去图书馆也做不到吗?至少自己去试一下.去年还是前年的Canadian Idol  最后一场终决住裁判之一以一段录象带出现,原因是那时是他们犹太人的传统节日,要和妻子孩子在一起.如果是你,你是不是会对妻儿说:我明天陪你们,今天是最后决赛而我是主裁判,脱不开身的.

我给的建议只是担心这为家长太注重问题的本身了,其实这只是成长的一部分.清华北大的才子从农村成长过来的比比皆是,谁得到专业人士的指导了? 谁得到父母的 "you parents train you the way to think in different angles towards a subject?"了. :rolleyes:

Di Di

Post by cloudrain
Certainly, you should consult with your English teacher. From your reply, i understand that you really didn't understand.

:eek!: Take it easy. Being mean doesn't prove anything except...:p

Well, I asked two English native speakers. One got what did you mean for your question. One didn't. After I gave her the context, she helped me got your question. Were you trying to ask me that "I have to ask if your parents taught you to think of different perspective towards a subject?"

I was confusing not only because of the language. If you think people should respect other people's different perspective towards a subject, then why you tried so "hard" (even being mean) to prove I was wrong and you were right? There is no such a win-lose situation. Relax, buddy. The host/hostess should try different ways which he/she thinks might work for his/her daughter.

The logic you presented really sucks. No defence. ;)

圆明园

我的E文还算说得过去,没看明白CLOUDRAIN想说什么.
孩子是自己的孩子, 最重要的是言传身教自己的价值观人生观.

Di Di

To Couldrain:

I am sorry I can not quote what you said beause you put all your words in red. Is this the way you relax or reminds people for Cultural Revolution?:eek!:

By the way, I even did not think you were being mean because it seemed you have a lot of knowledge.:wink:  I asked two native English speakers about your question to be sure I did not misunderstand you, the one who got what you said told me people ask question like this was being mean. If you did not mean it, then I forgive you, because as an ELS Chinese, I really understand it is very hard to say what you mean.

:cool:

Di Di

OOps. I made a mistake.I wrote your name "couldrain" instead of "cloudrain". Sorry. You wrote: Chinese peasant. :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek::eek:  
What do you mean?:rolleyes:    I can not believe you are so bitter inside. How could you talk about education without caring and loving? what a shame.

Those farmers in China, they are not suffer enough? They did not do anything wrong. I always respect "Chinese peasant" very much beacuse my parents taught me so.
If I said something hurt you, then I am sorry. This has nothing to do with "Chinese peasant", leave them alone please.

You really need a break.

努力

Post by Di Di
还不明白吗?过程比结果重要.寻找问题答案过程比知道答案本身重要.她迟早会找到问题答案的,但在成长过程中父母给与的支持对个性的形成构造是无法找到代偿的.这个忙是任何人都不要帮的.我说明白了吗?

I agree. There is always a stupid answer but never a stupid question.