xhu

Continued...

Yuan stayed late at work more and more. I, sometimes just read books and watch TV for the time when she is not home. She still makes flowers at home, even more often. And we go back to my parents' place more often too. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" /><o:p></o:p>

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Time goes by, it is our wedding anniversary, the first time. I brought champange back home. She cooked a lot of good food we both like. We are just fine together. Sometimes I brought flowers back to home, and she is always the one make them look so pretty in the vase. Colleagues did not ask me out very much often. I usually stayed home with Yuan.<o:p></o:p>

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Another year went just fine. Yuan's company went into some jerpody. The economy did not go very well. Some companies were suing them for some reasons. These things happen often, especially in a difficult time. I worked harder, in turn, I became the one coming back home late often. She is not very happy, I know. She works hard too. We started to argue sometimes, about her company, her job, and her. One day evening, she came back late, saw I was making dinner, she took over the job with some guilt. The next day, I brought my lunch box to the work, like usual.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

Yuan's company is looking at go bankcrupcy. She lost her job after many years working there. She started to look for a different job. The market is hard at that time. She is still busy around, looking for a job, reading books and magzines, and going back to her family. She got sad sometimes. It is noticeable. I always came back home after work, and she is always home, with books and TV, except when she went back to her parents. Living room and bedroom are still with flowers.<o:p></o:p>

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It takes a while for me to realize she has gone. After midnight when the soft music on the stereo is still playing, I sit on the sofa, while having a beer. The beer is good. I turned myself to the windows, beautiful stars and the moon. I felt a little sad. Dawn finally has passed, I woke up in the morning. The sad feeling is still with me. I made toast and coffee. As the same, I did some excercises, got dressed, then went to work.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

I went with Paul, Winnie and Wanda for milk tea at noon after lunch break. We talked a lot of things. Wanda talked a lot. I, Paul and Winnie listened to her, sometimes I and Paul make jokes. Winnie cares a lot, I know. It was a good gathering.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

Time after work, I picked up a newpaper from the new stand. I flipped over the murder headline, then business, arts and entertainment. Well, I am getting happier. I went home. First time, I forgot to turn on my stereo.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

Night went fine. I did not realize I was thinking or imagining last night, time went fast. Still, I did excercises and cleaning, and I looked better in the mirror. Made my breakfast as usual. When I eat my breakfast, I am aware of my bloomy feeling inside of me. Well, maybe I will give Winnie a call sometimes.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

Sometimes I still think I haven't lost Yuan, maybe she thinks she hasn't lost me too. The reason she went to America is very simple, she is not satisfied, at least I think. She wants to study more, abroad. I am the one who doesn't want big changes like quiting my job and go studying in a different country. I stayed, seeing her flying away. I couldn't do something except watching. Too bad...<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

After Yuan lost her job. She started to be moody, and we started to fight. One day, I went back to home early. She was not home. I called her mother, and she was't in their place too. I made dinner myself, not very good, but not bad to eat them myself. She went back home at about ten. I asked where she has gone, she told me she played Majohng in her aunt's palce with her relatives. I argued as usual and I asked why she did not tell me she gambles. She did not reply, and went to sleep. I was mad. It was the first time I got so mad at her. The next day, I did not bring lunch to the work, rather eat with Paul outside. One week later, she left me, to America. <o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

I worked harder at my work. Paul, Winnie and Wanda work hard too. I started to receive emails from Wanda, then Winnie, asking me this or that. I did not reply them all, sometimes I just simply answer questions they asked. I like them, so is Paul. Do they ask these kind of questions to Paul too, I wondered? Soon after our hard work, my company became one of the best in the sector. My director especially invited me, Winnie and Paul to a working dinner to celebrate what we have built and contributed. The director announced there is a big project on going in eastern US, and he needs two men to do the project. He is defintely looking at me and Paul, we are the best in the company, I can tell after the working dinner. Winnie came to Wanda the other day, and asked her out for pearl tea. I wonder why she did not ask me and Paul to go with them. Anyway, these two go out very often. At the same day, we all went out for beer after work.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

It was great that I and Paul have to go to US to do the work, Newark, New Jersey, company headquarter. I intentionally called Yuan's mother. She did not have any news from her either. Winnie and Wanda came to Paul's place, so was ready to go me. They came to send us away. We went to the the airport and went to US.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

Before the airplane landed at Newark International airport, I was still in sleep. Paul woke me up. The airplane landed safely. We got off, then immigration, customer and luggages. Time has already past seven when we picked up the car the comany rented for us, then find the place. We finally got to the hotel. Our company have reserved us rooms, rooms in a four star hotel. One American man escorted us, Brian, a young manager from the headquarter office. We settled. Then Brian brought us for dinner. During the dinner, he delivered an introduction. Dinner wasn't that bad. The introduction went long. We mostly listened to his talk, and rarely we asked questions. It went fine. So, we are engaged.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

Two weeks passed very fast. The project went very well. They all liked me, the headquarter people. I did not have Yuan's information. I tried more than often. I excessfully used the internet. But I still couldn't find her. But I know she is fine here. Somewhere in this place, she is just fine. We went back to Hongkong after the finish of the project. Winnie and Wanda came to pick us up. That night, we went to a best Chinese restaurent for dinner. There were't many Chinese restaurants there in Newark. Maybe in New York city, I heard there are more Chinese people there. We went to a bar that night. I, Winnie and Wanda were very happy talking that night, Paul, he did not talk very much. After all the project went fine. We sang some Karaoke together too. Winnie and Wanda both sang love songs again. I also sang some, but Paul didn't. Then we went back home.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

Winnie drove me back to home after she send Paul and Wanda home. She stopped on the road in front of my apartment. Well, I could not see her face clear enough in the dark. It is about eleven and the sky was pretty clear. I did not say anything. She did not either. I sighed, and opened the car door. After I got off the car, I turned to her and wanted to say something to her. Then I figured I don't want to say things, it turned out to be a good-bye.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

I did not know what Winnie thinks. She may know by now I am very interested in her. I know she is very interested in me. But I am married, and I still miss Yuan, my wife. When I opened my door to my apartment, turned on the light and my stereo. As usual, the sound of the soft music reminds me of Yuan. And the flower she made in the living room and the bedroom. I still love her, I realized. I think I am in love with Winnie already after I sitted down on the sofa. Does Winnie love me, I wondered? I still can choose not knowing about it and still living in my life of me, my good job, and my wife. But she is gone, to America, somewhere living there. Will she come back, and when? I don't know.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

I opened my email box the coming Monday when I went to work, and intentionally checked emails Winnie sent to me. In one email, she asked me about some questions that I don't even understand, maybe it is something chubbish colleagues spread around. Another one is a question about conflicts she had with a colleague that I replied and helped her out. The last one is to ask me something that she did not understand relating to the work. I also helped her with this one. After I check out all these emails, I rested with thoughts. She liked me a lot starting from the beginning, I now understand. I liked her a lot too. I don't know when it started, I started to miss her sometimes, maybe when I first saw her. Impression of her in my mind is very very strong. I wanted to call her. Then I picked up the phone, but I can't. What about Yuan? But she is not with me anymore, she is gone. I like Winnie very much, that many years... maybe, I love her. I still deserve a new life, a new story for me to write about. And... she might be the right one. I cry to myself. I decided to ask Winnie out for dinner Friday night after work. I called her cautiously with calm. She sounds very happy that I called. I asked her out, and she said yes.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

沙雁

xhu

Continued...

I especially dressed very well Friday night, a nice and precious shirt and tie, "gold

fish", I reembered. I wouldn't think the same way around now, it was a mistake, I

thought and smailed. I did not wear suit because I found maybe it is better to be

casual a little. After all, we have known each other for about nine years. It has

been quite a long time, and now, now we date. I bought a dozen of roses at the

flower store downstairs, and I took the subway, towards her, my date, a very

lovely girl.


   I met Winnie at the downtown center. Winnie dressed nice too, a kind of like

usual, just, she wears a new blouse. She wears a pair of  black pants, that I saw

her wearing before at work. They made her looking taller. I handed her over the

roses with a kind smile, and she smiled and she did not look surprised. Then we

walked to the restraurent I have reserved two seats with. I felt kind of exciting. It

has been a long time I haven't dated women. Two years after Yuan was gone. I

don't know what Winnie feels. We just silently walked, and it seemed she did not

want to break the silence. The tacit feeling came through me. Noticeablely, I

peaked at her face when we were walking. She looks still smiling while her left

hand was playing with the roses, and, she looked so beautiful. I wanted to hold

her right hand, and just want to be in this way, until forever, TianHuanDiLao in

Chinese, I thought. But I didn't, I am not very brave in front of her. We just

walked.


    The date went very well. We talked quite some, from colleagues, work and then

the family. I told her my story, story with Yuan and my family. She did not seem

suprised. I guess Wanda told her about the existance of Yuan. I know Wanda

would, she is just that kind of woman. Winnie reacted calmer than I thought. She

also told me some about her family, with some conservation. And she did mention

her past boy friend when I asked her. I had a feeling that night she is kind of

sorry for her past experience with him, and she made me feel she liked me mainly

because I said things when he damped her. I thought he is not doing a right

thing. I realized I cared about her since the beginning, since I first saw her when

the first day I started working in our company. We had very good conversation,

and we both know, at least I can feel, the future that we may go together, have a

family... And now, it is the time. Our bondage is another kind of Yuanfen, Yuanfen

that made us come together. TianHuanDiLao, I remembered. She looked so

wonderful that night.


    Another night went fine. I was still struggling between Yuan and Winnie. I met

Winnie today at work. She looked kind of wired, kind of, what can I say,... kind of

more like wanting to stay away from me. Maybe it is because of Yuan, I mentioned

her too much in front of Winnie. Then she is caucious because of this. I still love

Yuan. Yuan has become someone that can not be even forget in my mind, I took it

for granted. Sometimes I think it is sinful to just forget about her. She is just that

kind of woman that deserve you to love her so much, and, fortunate enough, she

loves you back the same way you love her. That is why I could not forget the

existance of her, until now, now Winnie got into my life. My life has changed, I

thought. Hold on to my life now with Winnie, divorce Yuan, something devilish has

taken my mind. I can't, I can't, I cried. She is Yuan, she is supposed to be the one

and only one of my love. "Two hearts, two hearts beat as one. Our life has just

begun..." Lionel Richie's"Endless love" came accross my mind. I remembered when

I and Yuan hold our hands together and stepped into the church, declared to God

our love and our marriage. It is the Yuanfen that holds us together. But she has

left me, and Winnie got into my life, a new Yuanfen with Winnie can be expected. I

cannot take it anymore. I cried to God,"Oh, God, I don't know... please God, show

me the way."  I fell quiet to sleep.

沙雁

xhu

Yuan's Place

此地有媛(原创)

沙雁

The end...

    Two days later, Paul told me Winnie is ill and will stay home for one week. Wanda later on told me the reason she is ill, it is because of Yuan. Wanda told me Winnie went to her place that night when I and her finished the date and said good bye to each other. And Winnie told her a lot of things, such as the feelings she had with me, and the matter between her and her once and only boy friend. Poor her! I thought. One love relation can have that much impact for her. Obviously she expected from me too much, and my relation with Yuan is kind of like a mess. I did not think much and ran to her home.
     
   She lives alone in a nice little cottage. I pressed hard on the door bell and waited. For about thirty seconds, she opened the door. She looked tired, but she still brought me a cup of tea. She told me that she has got fever, and will stay home for a week. She asked me to help her some with her job when she stays home, not very seriously. She did not say very much of things. It seemed that she got better after I came. I knew I have hurted her, and I knew she is not a girl as strong as she looks.
     I am a kind of disappointed when I left her home. She is not as strong as Yuan, but she is obviously a better woman than Yuan. She is that kind of woman who can sacrifice more for me. Thoughts took me. I started to have some compassion on her, in spite of only love. I am a typical Chinese male who have the compassion and love like many married men have for women. I decided to give up Yuan and go on with my life with Winnie. I called her at night. She sounded much better. I said to her I wanna see a better, happier and brighter Winnie.
     I and Winnie both know it will be the end of it. Someday, we will get married, have kids, and have our own career. In a better way, we may have better career since we are hard working and well educated people. The Yuanfen between us just can't be easily measured, not the simple nine year working relationship developing to lovers, but rather the true love, respect and our expectations for each other between me and Winnie made us together. I fell in love, formally. Again. Yuanfeng between me and Yuan is over. Then I will write my "Endless love" with this girl, this woman, Winnie. May Yuanfeng between me and Winnie be tight enough holding our hands together, like forever and ever when we spend our lives together.


The End.  

xhu

Yuan's Place

此地有媛(原创)

沙雁

The end...

Two days later, Paul told me Winnie is ill and will stay home for one week. Wanda later on told me the reason she is ill, it is because of Yuan. Wanda told me Winnie went to her place that night when I and her finished the date and said good bye to each other. And Winnie told her a lot of things, such as the feelings she had with me, and the matter between her and her once and only boy friend. Poor her! I thought. One love relation can have that much impact for her. Obviously she expected from me too much, and my relation with Yuan is kind of like a mess. I did not think much and ran to her home.


She lives alone in a nice little cottage. I pressed hard on the door bell and waited. For about thirty seconds, she opened the door. She looked tired, but she still brought me a cup of tea. She told me that she has got fever, and will stay home for a week. She asked me to help her some with her job when she stays home, not very seriously. She did not say very much of things. It seemed that she got better after I came. I knew I have hurted her, and I knew she is not a girl as strong as she looks.

I am a kind of disappointed when I left her home. She is not as strong as Yuan, but she is obviously a better woman than Yuan. She is that kind of woman who can sacrifice more for me. Thoughts took me. I started to have some compassion on her, in spite of only love. I am a typical Chinese male who have the compassion and love like many married men have for women. I decided to give up Yuan and go on with my life with Winnie. I called her at night. She sounded much better. I said to her I wanna see a better, happier and brighter Winnie.

I and Winnie both know it will be the end of it. Someday, we will get married, have kids, and have our own career. In a better way, we may have better career since we are hard working and well educated people. The Yuanfen between us just can't be easily measured, not the simple nine year working relationship developing to lovers, but rather the true love, respect and our expectations for each other between me and Winnie made us together. I fell in love, formally. Again. Yuanfeng between me and Yuan is over. Then I will write my "Endless love" with this girl, this woman, Winnie. May Yuanfeng between me and Winnie be tight enough holding our hands together, like forever and ever when we spend our lives together.


The End.