claire98

　　看到这么多人关心我，我非常感动，很多道理，理智上都是懂的，可是情感上的东西只能靠时间去疗伤，爱与不爱都是自由的，可是他最后离去的方式彻底伤害了我．
　　现在我才知道他有外遇有一年了，在这个期间我从南方回内地学法语，碰上非典我们半年无法见面，一个要去英国留学的女孩明知他结过婚还对他死缠烂打，说不破坏我们的婚姻，只想做他的女朋友，可恨啊！就是我的自傲和她对他的崇拜，让他离我而去，可是在这期间我老公对我还是很好，所以我才一直被蒙在鼓里．并且来之前我们采购了很多东西，在香港，工作的南方和家里，都是打算来这里好好过日子的，我到现在也想不通，他到底是怎么想的？
　　我们结婚７年了到现在我们还不到３０岁，少年时结为夫妻我认为感情基础是很牢的，因为那时根本没想很多现实因素，纯粹因为爱情，不过这也许只是我自己的看法吧，现在我从相信一切变成怀疑一切，我很害怕自己变的太多，我还是喜欢以前的那个纯真的自己，但愿我能走的出去！

放松

claire98,
through your words, I can see you have some superiority over your husband(从世俗的角度讲我各方面条件比他好)(毕竟当年我是违背父母意愿和他结的婚).
Some men would choose a girl over whom he has superiority as wife rather than a girl opposite although before marriage every man like bettr girls.
I agree that you should value your marriage and try your best to look your husband back. But, in marriage, no one, including husband and wife, should  show that he or she has devaluated oneself to marry the other. Both are fare.
I guess that, in your husband's heart,  he is not convinced that he can not go beyand you. He needs to feel he is needed. But your attitude is that he've gained extra advantage of you.
So far, You don't feel he has any great value. you are suffering
because you don't know how to face your parents(as soon as you came canada, you lost your husband, it was a great insult to your dignity),
and because it was too abrupt to accept the fact( you didn't think it's possible before it occurred. "I am so good that he should be satisfied)
Don't quarrel. Calm down to talk to find out where the problem is. Value the first marriage.
Kidding: maybe the girl is sexier than you.
Good luck!

xhu

Indeed, I think I am more sexier than my girlfriend/wife. What can I do, but I still don't have a right girl for me yet. Too bad, not a single right girl.

claire98

谢谢大家的关心和帮助，我感觉好多了．我选择坚强的在这里生活下去，我知道我面临很大压力，其实我认为他也许面临的压力比我更大，我可以得到很多同情和帮助，他也许面临着不理解和更多的指责，毕竟多年夫妻，平时他对我也不错，我不恨他了，我希望他过的轻松，更希望他能回来，这是我良好的愿望．再次谢谢大家的鼓励！