wowo, tears in my eyes, baby (assume you are below 55), you need some love. Jesus, what made you so sad. Woe, wish all ladies are happy, including my ex-s.
I'm back from my lunch. Actually, I have the same situation as you, hopefully it will be end now. If you feel what I'm saying can help you, it's because I want to help myself to stuggle with the deep inside myselft. I'm still in the hell now, I'm still suffering.