沙雁

对不起,忘记密码了.

Continued...

Bird that flies

Flying bird

A flight has departed from the airport. John sat in the corner at the departure gate with his notebook. The security guard was kind of annoying, insisted to check his bags, he remembered. He looked out the window and saw the big Borne airplane at the gate. He was excited, "America," he said to himself.

At the shuttle stop, John waited with his luggage. It is the second time he is here, the last time was the job interview. After the Chief Engineer completed the interview, John realized that he will likely have the job. And now, he is here. The shuttle arrived, John got in, paid the fare. He found a seat and sat down. He got excited. Newly here, he knew. It looked different here from Canada, everything is so different. Trees you can't name are around, different.

Shuttle arrived in Berkeley, John came out with his luggage. He found a room from Canada a couple of days ago from the internet. He found the place and lived in. "Finally, I am here," he realized. After making a phone call home, he took a shower, and went out for dinner. After coming out of the restaurant, he walked on Berkeley street. The street looked a little messy, lots of people walked by. He went into a coffee shop in the corner, bought a cup of coffee, found a seat and sat down. He looked around, "lots of people," he found. The stereo is playing Sarah McLachlan. He relaxed and listened, quietly, and tasted his coffee. He sat for a while. "It's getting late," he figured. He stood up and went back.

John started on the third day. His American life had begun. Berkeley is a nice town east of San Francisco Bay. He lived not too far from the company. The neighborhood is nice, people are friendly. Every household's got a small front lawn. California is a dry place, grass does not grow very much here. Sunday after church, he walks back home, occasionally he can see people watering their lawn. Church is a good place to go. John is a Christian, every Sunday morning after getting up, he always walks to the corner on Main Street, purchases a cup of coffee, and then walks to the church. He learned a lot there.

John is an Asian, and obviously, he is smart. A fresh university graduate starts his career in a new high-tech start-up company in the Valley, even though John has some high-tech experience in Canada, it is still rare here. John is a mid-sized guy with little fat around his belly. He has pretty dark skin and looks kind of handsome. He is cheerful and bright. No one knows why, maybe only himself, he prefers to be alone lots of times, and, with his coffee. John loves coffee and tea, he drinks them all the time at work. When he has nothing to do at home, he always makes a cup of Nescafe, lights up a cigarette, then looks outside the window directly into the hills around the Valley. It is nice and quiet here at night, he is used to it already. John is near-sighted with a pair of old titanium-framed glasses from Canada on his eyes, but his mighty eyes always look intense, just like an eagle. John dresses pretty well among guys in the Valley, a Tommy Hilfiger polo shirt and a pair of Docker Khaki with casual shoes makes him feel good. He likes it this way, casual elegance, Canadians say. He is energetic, like all Valley people, working very hard. His enthusiasm and hard working always makes his boss think to prompt him some day. Of course, as a new bee, it means he is on the right track.

One day after work, John drove to a nearby cigarette shop, smiling to the old woman, "a carton of American Spirit." The woman passed him the cigarettes. He paid her and thanked her and walked to his Chevrolet. While driving, he remembered his colleagues would have a party tonight. He went to the place and had some time with them. Never enjoy the party, on the way he drove back home, he thought. It is not that much fun, a couple of colleagues play around, some food and jokes, and teasing each other like all Americans do.

John smokes a lot. Nearly a pack a day. It is not so easy to get Canadian cigarette in the Bay area. He still remembers once he got one pack of Players in a shopping mall, he was so glad. It is the best. John shops once or twice a week, fruits, wine, vegetables and meats, this or that, never very much. Dinner is ordered at work by the company, they just want to keep them working hard without wasting their time. He usually goes out for lunch, with or without his colleagues. Local Asian restaurants and occasionally American or Mexican food was the sensation.

Working is like usual and progressive. One afternoon, John walked to the printer picking up the drawing he sent to, and walked back to his cubical. He turned into his computer, the drawing slipped away from his hand. He picked it up, and his eyesights were caught by his books on the shelf. Suddenly, he remembered a technician asked him for one of his books. It is kind of strange, they usually don't ask me for books, John thought. Anyway, he found the book, walked to the guy's cubical, gave him the book.

Life is like usual. Working, church and having some fun takes John's life. John likes to read. Sitting down with books and magazines in Starbuck in the weekend with a cup of coffee is his only luxury. They make him understand more things. John feels lonely sometimes, therefore he started to explore the Valley. Mountains, parks and gardens. John likes Asian gardens very much. A tour to a local Japanese garden with Charles, a friend from church during cherry blossom season reminds him to go back there sometimes. John loves mountains and hills, mountains in Castro Rock makes him remember a trip to Yellow Mountain in central China, an unforgettable trip with his parents when he was in primary school, it was beautiful there. John's parents are fine in Canada. He misses them sometimes. When John's mother visited him last time, he brought her to Santa Cruz, they had a very good time there. He still remembers the young maple trees in Santa Cruz, and, there are so many of them in the Valley. He misses Canada sometimes.

Charles is an interesting guy. John went out with him a couple of times. Charles looks mature, a dark-red jacket and Khaki is his fashion. He works in a commercial company. John thinks he's got a sense as a business man. There are many of them in the Valley. Charles is faithful.

Business in the Valley is as good as usual, John found. Valley people walk in and out, drive back and forth. Busy. When the milestone, deadline and schedule are approaching, John's work is more and more important. He works harder and harder, this or that, like all Valley people. Sometimes he went out with his colleagues for a drink after work. John's colleagues talk a lot. John, he likes to listen. Sometime John talks too, always work related. When he is alone at home, he still makes a cup of Nescafe, sat in front of the windows. Mountains in the Valley in the evening is beautiful.

John has a girl friend, Yuan. He met her in China in a vacation. Yuan is a pretty girl. They write and call each other very often after John went back to Canada. After John graduated from college and went to US for work, they are planning to get married. John had some experience with girls. Yuan is his second girlfriend, formally. There isn't much in relationship, John found. He is a little nervous about getting married. He worked hard for the money.  Yuan has a very strong Buddhist tend, John is a little worried. Maybe she can be converted to Christian, John thought.

My diary
Sunday, April 22, 2001
Rainy

I woke up in the early morning and went to the Japanese garden. It looked better when it rains. I drove there and walked around. If the teahouse had been open, tea ceremony would have been a joy. Trees and flowers are blooming, it was mid-spring. How is Canada now, he wondered. Was it in spring? My heart mumbled. I walked towards a bench, sat down and lighted a cigarette. Thoughts took me. How is she now? Soon getting married, what will she bring to me? What will I have for her? Will I love her forever? I don't know. I finished the cigarette and drove back.  

Time goes by fast, it is near summer now. Work is like usual. Everything is like usual. John still goes to church twice a week, Sunday service and Friday night Bible study group meeting. He met lots of people in the church. Like most of the Mandarin speaking church in North America, there are people from Taiwan and Mainland China. John is originally from China, he became a Christian after two years he arrived at Canada. John knows lots of church people in Canada and US, most of them are from Taiwan. Last time when the cell group went to the BBQ in the central park, they had lots of fun. John studied lots of Bible, he always tried hard. His spiritual life is pretty good. He felt it is better here in US than he was in Canada. Charles knows lots of Bible, and as well some other cell group leaders. Charles is three years younger than John. He is enthusiastic on things. After graduated from the graduate school from a state college, Charles found a job in the Valley. Last time when they visited a local rhododendron when Charles thanked Lord for his new career, John had a strange feeling that Charles may become one of them someday. John is impressed by his enthusiasm. Like other young people in the cell group, John likes azalea. Unlike others, water lilies grown in the garden don't impress him much. John is also faithful.

It's been a while Yuan hasn't called him. John missed her. He called her one day morning, they talked a lot. John has decided. After all, it's been a couple of years. John called his parents and told them his decision. They were excited, John could tell. John has a very traditional Chinese family. They live in Shipley, Canada. Both of John's parents are good and hard working people. John has a younger sister, nearly ten years younger than him. What will she think when she hears about the news? John wondered. John started to get busy in his spare time on shopping. After a couple of conversations over the phone, the whole family decided to go to China. Yuan and her family are happy.

When John walked out from the travel agency in the Lion city, a known local Asian mart. He turned into a restaurant, ordered a dish. He had to go back to office quick. "Badly wanted to see the simulation results," he thought when he ate. He was going to have two weeks vacation for the trip to China, and he had to make sure things are fine at work and had to make smooth transitions. It was early summer and it would soon be that trade show. He heard the company might launch the prototype there.

The flight took off from runway in San Francisco International Airport. John pulled out the safety belt when the plane navigates in the sky. He found his travel bag under his economy seat, took out his notebook. He thought for a little while, put the notebook back into the bag. He then laid back on the seat, and slept.

---John McAuthorLeah

Continued...

Bird that flies

Secret Confess
---Sir Gawin and Green Knight

It happened on Sunday morning. When the bell in the local church rang, I was still in bed, did not want to get up. It was 9am. Last night I watched the show, Space Odyssey, it was wonderful. The whole Saturday night, I was in dream. The warriors in the show always came into my dream. I was brave there.

Twenty years ago, I was baptized in a local church. Before that, I was in a college. I had some good time there. Time passed by fast and it did not allow me to think a lot about these kind of things, things like growing up. Too many years living in the west, I always felt the wonder.

I came many years ago from east. It was also wonderful there without much realization. People from east are quite different here than people residing there. It is hard to tell but it still looks obvious. Anyway, stories are always long.

Living in Canada, I was influenced a lot by American movies. Canada, it was rather not that fascinating. There are more other interesting things here. It is also fun. Movies like "When the dream comes." always impact me. They are also many movies that I can remember. I like American movies.

I didn't have a very bad time in the college. I was always fine with my classes, and it was so good and wonderful to get good grades. I especially liked english classes, and my english skills improved fast. I became good in my classes. In the senior year, class contents became harder and harder, and sometimes I had some difficulties. Literature classes attracted me. Hawthorne’s stories like Young Good Man Brown and Scarlet Letter, as well as english poems like Sir Gawin and Green Knight were just that attractive. They made me understand more about eternal life. Shakespeare’s play such as Tempest made me think more about God, the Prospero in the drama. Later on after I believed in God, I still remembered them. Well, they are stuff that are good to read.

My life went on. I went on for studying Science and Engineering in university. I wanted to become an engieer. It is a top profession in my time, and I am very good at those, like math and physics. Well, in old times, bridges can not be built from nothing. Story is long. Time goes by, I grew up.

Sometimes unrecognizable and unwanted darkness took control over me. There everything can happen. It was helpless. I am not the only one. And, sometimes I can feel the holiness is with me, the peace after the storm. It went fine. I still remembered that movie, "When the dream comes." Life after death, I think. It seemed to me that they like to portrait that, Americans. Some other movies I can't name also have these contents in them. I am not lying.

Graduation did not come easy, in turn, some working experience accompanied with a degree and high expectation in career did succeed me. I turned out to work in US. Well, life became easier. I got the Jack Pot after all.

It was unrecognizable, unwontedly true. When the "light" in the darkness accompanies with the Bloomfield spring fall. I took trips all the time to visit the nature. When the summer comes, warm sunlight scattering from higher atmosphere in Bloomfield still wonderfully amazes me, azalea, still. After the blooming flowering season, red maples filled with this town in Northern California and being seen eagles and "Brown" tomb did stress the true dream, stressful equally at the same time, birds on the tree found scorpions underneath the earth came out under the sun. What the earth? I found. When the movies and TVs and dancing clubs and ceased peace and, whatever cosmo and earth and earthly astrological beliefs filled with men and women's brain and, plum's and peach's naturalness and spring falls in Bloomfield made bloom easy. What a heaven? God believed me.

In turn, Christmas came in the winter. Another year turned over the solar calender. Quick clock ticked the slower one will damage the slower clock, who is going to believe it? After all, they are clocks. Life is not a race, some people say. I am not one of them. Well, calenders were made for people, not clocks. I went all the way too too fast. Maybe... Bridges, I went back. Do I believe calender or the clock? Damn, it is like mouse catching cat, the cat fights back and wants to catch the mouse. When Adam Smith invented his famous economic theory, he never wants the society to go backward. The theory can't be wrong, that many years. I wouldn't think people in society want the backward. These kinds of things, forever like puzzles to be solved, engineers and scientists and economists and others are always solving them. I went back to the calender and the clock. People invented calender, and people invented clocks. Here the question comes, who invents faster since our society progresses too fast? Fast people or slower people, anyway, who can invent faster than computers invent? Invention. Invent gene, people say. What a mass? Who is going to be better than who?  Will we menifestate all these or simply live better?

Sometimes ago, I met a rich man when he was arguing to a poor man about how he made money and got rich. He said, "money does not come from yourself, it comes from money or capital, don't you agree?" The poor man replied, "money? I never had money. For generations, I worked for little money." The rich man said then, "you are a good man, will you work for me?" The poor man thought about it for a while, said, "for generations, I never had money, money never come from myself. If I want to be someone like you, I would say, I agree with you." An old man passed by and asked what they argued about. They repeated the argument to him. He said then, "well, it is not that hard, you two can share the money. For it to be fair, let the rich man lend the poor man money, the poor man will pay the rich man interest, the poor man will make money like the rich man said and hire the poorer man." I said, immediately to them, "you are all wise, but the old man is wiser. After all, it is money."

Who can answer these kinds of questions? God believed me, but he never promised me he will answer all my questions. Waterfalls from the mountains did not make me bloom. I pretty much missed the time I had in Bloomfield. Azalea, I always can make the comparison. What is the problem with rhododendrons?

When the choir sang in the local church in Bloomfield, I joined them. Too much missing the flowering season, building bridges took too much money, manpower, time, also energy. Bridges, I went back here, I remembered. Will I still wanted to build it here? I had other choices too.

When I was young, I liked to solve problems. Problems in math were easy to me. Later on physics, chemistry, biology and others came, other problems came as well. When I grew up, I came to Canada. Here, trees are green, flower blooms in its natural way. Rather, I found it here a better place. Math, physics and chemistry became so easy. Things are getting easier and easier here. Not bad. Growing ups and trees and flowers and people mixed places here is definitely too too different from the orient, I found. When the music and dance ceased, and at the same time, I couldn't keep my grades up and stress stresses me. When the music and the dance and the flowers ran away, strangely coming back at faster and then slower speed, I wondered the wonder will be still wonderful?  Plums got to bloom some time too. They found, maybe, I think. Plums bloom in a natural way will be plums' naturalness, that is really what I think. Plums, let's eat them, they say, rather in a strange manner. Definitely not plums' plum.

Spring came in its way after the Christmas again and again. Two years in the maple valley already. What would be the spring falls like in Bloomfield? I missed it there. Bridges built in such an easy way is still a miracle, and as a very experienced engineer, I was thinking about manifestations to build the bridge. Again, money, manpower, and other possible fibrous acrossed my mind. Would it be still possibly possible to bloom the maple valley? I wondered. What about the natural greens? One thing was always clear to me, bridges were not built from nothing. Water falls from the Bloomfield breeds maple valley at no much costs, what an idea? I am rather a good man, I think. What will natural greens think, though? Plums bloom in plums' naturalness and greens bloom in their naturalness, who is going to win who? What an earth? When the movies and TVs and newsprints and press hold come and go and come back again, what a man I am and what I will become and, most importantly, what I will do. For Heaven's sake. Mountains can not fall apart, and trees won't fall too. People can. Water flow, I think. At least, mountains and trees and flowers and grass and bushes and wild bushes and, land and people and jungles all need water. Water flow!!! I made my choice.

Hopefully rhododendrons will not always on my way towards my way. God believed me, many thanks to Him. Thank you, Lord.

---John McAuthorLeah