xhu

Bypass

SHA YAN

I had a dream. The dream was neither enchanting, nor sad, nor desperate. I saw the flesh, and blood, in various places, flesh and blood that was white and red, skull, brain. I was then half-awake, half-sleeping, I saw the Heaven. White doves flapped their wings, silence. Then angels sang Halleluiah. And the sky opened, it was pure and white, specifically, then I saw the immediate light, so shiny that is like the sunshine but purer. Angels sang Halleluiah again, then I became awake.

I wore my pajama, and made myself a cup of coffee. Then I picked today’s newspaper from the front door. Sitting down, I sipped coffee, and started to read, the murder headline, then the Financial, and the Entertainment. I felt worried, for the business around the city. I turned into the kitchen, brought Whiskey, poured a glass, added some of it to my coffee from the glass. Then I drank the whole shot. I felt a little high. Then I had another shot.
Outside of my door, rhododendron was blooming in my front garden, scarlet. The path to front door was wet, it was raining for the morning. The concrete of the wall of my house is light gray, it stood still rigidly in the rain.

I picked a Playboy magazine after a little thought and bought a pack of Rothman King size in the Tabagie a couple blocks away from my home. Then I went into Provigo opposite the shop. I bought some groceries. It was still morning, about 10AM, when I put the groceries and the Playboy magazine in my car parking in the parking lot. I went into the bar underground in the basement of Tabagie, and I had a beer and thought, “What the heck, God will forgive me.” It was not the first time I did that.

It wasn’t too bad, the TV program this morning. The View, I watched it a little, I often watch the View, they made you laugh. At noon, it was the news, I turned the TV off and had a sandwich for lunch, alone, by myself.

I was married a couple of years ago, to my wife from China. I was also from China about sixteen years ago to this place, Montreal, Canada. I studied and worked for a while, then I married her when I was working in US. I quitted my job in the US and came back to Canada to sponsor her here. But when she came here, and found I didn’t have a job and steady income, she left me and went for her study here in Canada. She stayed.

I was bored in the afternoon. I went on Internet to the chat room. Sometimes I really liked chat rooms, but also sometimes I found it made little sense. I told my dream this morning to people in the chat room, you don’t know what they said. They said, “get a job, indulge yourself.”

I had another glass of liquor, and started to read the Playboy magazine. I love women. Here they were, naked in front of me, on the magazine. I thought, there is no end of life; I am thirty six, separated, there was no reason I can’t read the magazine. Time passed three, I had a nap, with the Playboy Magazine laying beside me on my bed.

That was my day, seven days a week, 24 hours a day. I was just too tired. Too tired of everything, anything, marriage, love, religion and life. About five O’clock, I woke up. A sales man called me and offered me a vacation to Disney World package for ninety nine dollars, I said no. I urgently need to keep every cent of the welfare money I receive, when I receive it. Anyway, I went to Disney World once already.

Are there miracles in life? I expect it, I need to be saved. Bypassing the day like this did not make much sense, boring and dull, drought, and liquor. I’ve had this liquor problem for quite a while. I remembered the dream I had this morning. Did God come to save my soul? But still it was, my life went on like this for years. I had no hope. Hope……., hope is the only medicine, I expected, God, how could it be? My life…….
I am a Christian, baptized thirteen years ago in a local Montreal church, when I was still in the university. My school days wasn’t too bad, life was hopeful by the time. I tried to become good in my church, attending Bible study groups and Sunday services. I used to dress always in suit to attend the Sunday services, never in jeans. And I never missed Sunday service when I was young. I think God loved me by that time, even though I smoked a lot, nearly a pack of cigarettes a day. I was passionate for church activities, and I remembered the time when I was young and happy.

Dinner time came, mom cooked for us. We were having chicken, beef and broccoli, and tofu soup. I poured myself a glass of red wine, also got two glasses for my mom and dad. Red, the wine in the glasses, made me think about the dream this morning, flesh and blood in my dream. I sipped. Dinner went well, dishes were plain, just so plain. Mom added little salt for the dishes. I tried to talk to my mom during the dinner, but I couldn’t. No, I didn’t want to talk. So we just ate, plainly.
Dreadful, my life is now. The only thing I liked in my life now is that I read quite often. Fiction and poetry are my true love. I started to write when I was thirty three, with whole many years of reading experiences and writing workshop from the church I attended in California. I especially attended the writing workshop. That taught me a lot.

At eight, I sat down in front of my desk and my computer. I started to write, my experience and my story, poetry. I suddenly felt that I am hopeful, I could become a good writer. I looked at my desk lamp, the light is warm and shiny. I thought about it. And I turned my thoughts into words, sentences, urgently. Yes, I could write.

Night came fast, I was still sitting in front of my desk, writing. Now it was the time for bed. Should I say prayer to God before I go to bed and ask Him for forgiveness? I thought about the dream again, maybe God was really coming to save my soul? Yes, save my soul, God, please, I will be good. I thought God could create miracles.

The next morning, I passed the cemetery near Henri Bourassa, I especially went in to see the people buried there. May they rest in Heaven, I thought. I lighted a cigarette, and sat on the chair in the cemetery, and rested in thoughts.

xhu

此地有缘得文学评论，花了一百多美元让网站写的，评论一般，给评了个三星级。

Everyone knows that Canada is very different from China, but that doesn't mean the average North American can imagine how Montreal would be perceived by a Chinese immigrant. Yuan's Place offers a glimpse of Canada through an newcomer's eyes, written by a man left the Far East in his late teens. In addition to reflections on adjusting to life in a foreign land, this 103-page collection of essays, short stories and poems also contains musings on Christian spirituality.

Sha Yan's comparisons of North American culture to his native China are thought-provoking-- the narrator's reactions to cultural differences aren't always what you'd expect. However, Sha Yan sometimes has difficulty expressing himself in English, and his essays tend to read as if they started life as school writing assignments. His strong suit is his poetry, which was originally composed in Chinese-- "Tree House" has a particularly pleasing sound.

Review from BookReview.com

xhu

第一本，第三本上季一本没卖，是要花点广告费的时侯了，还好卖了两幅画，不然真不知该怎么搞。第二本上两季报告下月分晓。。。。。。。

tony12345

何不？

残剑飞雪，樽酒今朝。

xhu

Haiti has suffered from tragical event as the earth quak has smashed the country in 2010. I would like to help. For each copy of `Chinese Incarnation` by Sha Yan sold in this Winter season from January through March, $2 of the proceeding will go to the Haiti Earth Quake Relief fund held by Red Cross Canada. Please find below the order information for the book, and wish my help will bring wisdom to the Haitians.

soft copy,
http://www.lulu.com/content/pape ... incarnation/7825592

hard copy,
http://www.lulu.com/content/hard ... incarnation/7701911

xhu

Yuan`s Place by Sha Yan is the writing that you may never have seen before. The works are pure, refreshing and colorful. It is the writing representing the peace, beauty, life and spirit, and it is the Chinese writing style expressed in English. I have a review of the book written below by Bookreview.com,

Everyone knows that Canada is very different from China, but that doesn't mean the average North American can imagine how Montreal would be perceived by a Chinese immigrant. Yuan's Place offers a glimpse of Canada through an newcomer's eyes, written by a man left the Far East in his late teens. In addition to reflections on adjusting to life in a foreign land, this 103-page collection of essays, short stories and poems also contains musings on Christian spirituality.
Sha Yan's comparisons of North American culture to his native China are thought-provoking-- the narrator's reactions to cultural differences aren't always what you'd expect. However, Sha Yan sometimes has difficulty expressing himself in English, and his essays tend to read as if they started life as school writing assignments. His strong suit is his poetry, which was originally composed in Chinese-- "Tree House" has a particularly pleasing sound.
This book may not appeal to a broad audience, but it could be of interest to readers who work with immigrant populations or who wish to learn more about the immigrant experience.

Review from BookReview.com

I don`t totally agree with the review. I agree with the ``difficulty expressign in English..`` part, but for `school writing assignment...`` part I don`t agree. And I don`t agree with the work ``could be of interest for readers working with immigrant population`` part. The reviewer mentioned `` immigration èxperience in Canada``, but the work has a lot of contends based on my experience in the US.

The review is written and posted on Review.com site and amazon.com, on amazon.ca, I cut the last paragraph out. Ye, the damage is done by the review that the reviewer could not project where and who I sell the book to, and just provide an honest opinion on the work. I reserve my right to sue the American Bookreview.com for racism, fallacy and misconception.

xhu

I am watching the 2010 Winter Olympics, from the analoges the news people made in their reports, I can see many Canadians would like to know more about me. Here you go, I am sharing the first chapter of my memoir here, it is the first release and it includes the first chapter, `Garden Grove``, about me and my schooling. Have fun reading, as always,
My Memoir
---The moon was so round that mid-autumn festival
Sha Yan
1. Garden Grove
It was summer 1971, when I was born, at this mid-summer night. I was born in Kunming, a southwest city in People’s Republic of China, in a newly married family. My family is large, I have many uncles and aunts, grandmothers, cousins, nephews and nieces, even at the time when I was born. Almost all of my family members and relatives lived in this city. I have a very big family and my family history can be traced back to the revolution in 1918.
I was born rather in the modern world when the modernization just occurred even though it was still in the Chinese Cultural Revolution years. I remember it was a materialized world and materials are not abundant. My family was rich since my grandfather I have never seen was a famous jewelry trade man in town. But by the time I was born, my family was poor because of the establishment of the communism country that almost all wealth and land were forbidden. And the government collected the gold, treasures and land from categorized business people and land owners and pay them very little as a reimbursement, and called them enemies of people. My grandfather was the victim. And since then, my family members like my grandmothers, my father, my aunts and uncles need to make their own living and work under the arrangement of the government. The family was getting poor.
I went to school when I was six. At that time, I lived with my mother in the countryside west of Kunming. She was a teacher in the school of the village. My father, after he graduated from the local medical school, was sent to the countryside about five hundred kilometers west of the Kunming city. He became a doctor there. At that time, they called the doctors Red Foot Doctor. The living condition my mother and I lived in wasn’t very bad, but for my father, the condition was worse in the far away country side. When I went to school started as first grade, I had learned so much math and Chinese from my mother, so my first grade life was easy. After school, I always went to the farm, the hill and the river for fun and I maintained my good grades at school.
The farm, the hill and the river were very fun places for me at my age. I had some friends of my age and we went there for various activities. In the farm, we picked some corns of wheat grains and burned them under the fire buried over night at the side of the farm. Then we ate the burned corns and wheat. We also picked some sweet peas or snow peas and ate them raw in the vegetable fields. That was the part I can remember. We went to the hills to get some living insects and made them carry the match box filled with soil and sand. We especially made a cart with matches and match box for the large insects to pull it, that was a lot of fun. At the river side, since the river is not deep, we jumped in it naked and started water wars in the river. Occasionally we can see the water buffalos swam in the river.
One year passed, my family situation changed. For many reasons, my father decided to go on his study in medicine. After he passed the entrance exam for studying towards a Master’s degree in medicine, he was accepted by the Physiology department of the college he graduated from, Kunming Medical College. Now he had to move to Kunming and decided to bring me along with him. So I left my mother and went along with my father. Then I started my school in the city, an elementary school not too far my home, again, first grade, since the policy said seven year old goes to first grade. My life in the city started.
School was easy, since I was already familiar with the materials cover in the class in the first grade. I didn’t have many friends by the time I went to Kunming, so I tried to hang up with classmates. Everyday after the school, I and some of my classmates living in the area always went for fun on the streets. Even though it was not as fun as living in the countryside, I still enjoyed the freedom I got in the youth. Sometimes when dad gave me some allowance, I could buy some candies or wild cherries sharing with friends.
Time passed by, I grew to a big boy and became the leader of the class appointed by the teacher. I lead the class, collected assignments, become the leader of the young pioneers, and when the school had group activities, I also lead the class to join with the school for these activities. In spite of all the activities, my studies went well and I always maintained my grades as the first in my class. I was especially good at math and Chinese, and very often, I brought a hundred percent exam paper home. Dad and grandmother were happy. In spite of studies and school activities, father often brought me to uncle and aunt’s home. And every time when mother went home from the country, we always went to uncle and aunt’s home. I was the happiest to see my cousins.
With my cousins, I had a lots of fun. Every time when my family went to their house, cousin and I always played poker and hide and catch in their house. When we felt like to go out, we went to the park near by. And their house was close to the zoo, so we could go many times to the zoo to see monkeys and tigers. Dad and mom always played Mahjong with uncles and aunts, and when they were having diner breaks, cousins and I gathered around the Mahjong table and tried to play some. Adults did not stop us, either they did not encourage as we could see. We learned to play Mahjong when we were very young. My elementary school life was with the school and relatives.
I grew up, now a teenager and entered the high school where mother taught. Mother moved to the city when I was about twelve. It was the time when I was about to finish my elementary school study and ready to start high school. As the policy, the government assigned students to the high school regarding to the region students lived in. My mother taught at a school further to my home where she graduated her high school from. The school had a good reputation in teaching among high school in Kunming, then mother decided to let me go to her school to study. I obeyed, even though all of my friends went to a different high school. That was how I started my high school life.
Even though I was the best student in my elementary school that I graduated as the second in my class and the first place went to a girl I have ever noticed before, my high school life did not go that well. The matter was that many students in my class came from a nearby elementary school with the best reputation in teaching in the city, and they are very bright. Comparing to them, it seemed I ran out of my intelligence; and I played a lot in the high school years. My grade started to fall. I fell behind the class. My math, English were not so good, only my Chinese grades were well maintained. Mother was not very happy about it because she thought she would loose face in front of my teachers. She could not understand why my grades fell, but she always urged me not to play too much and to study more.
I was such a disobedient child. I learned to play snooker when I turned fifteen and spent much of my free time hanging in the billiard room. I liked the game, this smart English game. I read some about the game and learned the rules. I also understand that Snooker was the game played by English high class from the book. I played more and more.
When I started my third year in my high school, father had the chance to go abroad as a research fellow in Canada. Then he went abroad and left my mother, me and my sister. I had a sister who is seven years younger than me. And by that time father went, she just entered into her elementary school. My sister played piano.
My school performance went worse and worse, all because of the snooker. I fell behind the class when the time approach to the entrance exam for the senior high school. It occurs in the eighth grade in China. My mother urged me, even guarded me to study hard for the exam. One day after the school, like usual, I went to the billiard room to play some snooker with some of my classmates. I went home late, mother asked me about the matter. I lied to her, but she did not believe me. And then she found out from my classmates, she was so angry and hit me with the bamboo stick in the yard. That was the first time she hit me. My sister was so scared. I remembered it forever.
I started to study harder and harder, and soon I caught up with the class by the time entrance exam started. I wasn’t doing so bad, but I still did not meet the requirements for me to remain in the same high school. It was mother again, she made me staying in the same high school. Then it was another three years for me to continue my high school education in this school.

xhu

As the Vancouver 2010 WInter Olympic is on-going and I am watching the games, the Olympic made me think a lot of myself. As a twice non-metaled academic Champaign, I would like to state the motivation for me to write the prose fiction "Champagne, marinated, ice cream, coffee and tea", my motivation is that I don;t want to be eaten by the cold reality in the society that I was unemployed for many years and live under welfare and disability. I would like to compete but the society did not offer me a good ground for me to compete in hte industry. During my working years, I was playing a sharp professional also working towards my goal. But the cold reality is that I lost my job by quitting the good position and went home here in Canada to sponsor my wife, and later on because of no job and steady income, my wife left me. I have said quit many about my situation in my literature works. And if time allows, I would like to say more things about life, spirit, man's duty as well as marriage, also love, even though sometimes I don;t believe "love". I want to make to a common ground that I write for income and financial freedom that every writer dreams about. I don't know whether I can get to this common ground or before I get to it, I quit. I am not a quitting person and I am always working on schedule towards my goals. But life is rather harder than you think, especially as a writer and a poet. I thought maybe they will offer me an engineer job so I can start to compete again in the field, despite of the fact I am in disability. So I need to think alot about identifying opportunities, maybe I just stay in the literary world and make myself visible, and finally reach my financial goals. Everyone knows, writing job in literature is especially hard and not too many people wopuld like to commit to professioanl writing. But I may try, I need to think about life and duty of the man, yes, my hand may be amazing and steady, but my brain needs to adhere with my hand to make my final decision.

xhu

get $5 for signing up, and you can be paid for subscribing to offers, I have been paid once.


http://www.snapdollars.com/index/cenzihu

icepear

挺佩服楼主的恒心，不知道楼主写英文诗面向的是什么人群？如果面向中国人，我觉得方向就错了。我看了楼主的样诗，先不说诗写得好不好，单那些不常用的词汇就能打消所有人的积极性。我考过GRE和TOEFL，对里面的生词也抓耳挠腮的。我建议楼主不如翻译一些中国儿童作品到这里来，例如国内著名的漫画、小故事，这里的中国父母还是很注意对小孩中国文化的教育的。