MontrealVivia

Post by asun;2417158
关键是要让孩子尽早脱离中文环境，逼迫他尽早融入当地社会。
爱孩子是母鸡也会的事。小时候看孩子，抱在怀里不算本事，放在地上学步，随时可能摔倒，你必须保持高度警惕，随时准备出击救助，那才是本事。长大了，把孩子绑在身边，关在家里也不算本事，让他自己出去闯才是本事。我登陆当年把孩子丢在西人教友家里2个月，过了日常口语关。搬离华人社区，进入清一色当地白人的中学，3年拿了个托福满分。去年暑假花了3000多让他去秘鲁做义工当英文教师，我自己在家为他提心吊胆--因为通讯不方便，没有来电话。孩子，总是放在人心底里最柔软的地方的，中外人士都一样，西人的口头禅：She is the apple of my eye,my proudest accomplishment and the love of my life.

这种也是个教子的方法。我猜你的孩子是个儿子，你可以这么放心大胆，像我家的是女儿，就要在青春期的时候多担心一些了。

为什么要靠toefl呢？去美国读书的是要的？

MontrealVivia

很欣赏你的看法。
我认为养孩子很辛苦，但也收获也大。不说给社会尽义务吧，自己的情感很有寄托，活着有劲儿。
我也没有选择私校，而是让孩子去国际中学。但你说的孩子要自觉地话，可以去国际中学。啥样的孩子算自觉呢？

Post by lulin;2417500
我非常欣赏纪伯伦在《先知》有关孩子的说法：

    Your children are not your children.
    They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
    They come through you but not from you,
    And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

    You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
    For they have their own thoughts.
    You may house their bodies but not their souls,
    For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
    which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
    You may strive to be like them,
    but seek not to make them like you.
    For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

养育孩子是为社会尽义务。送孩子上私校，上贵族学校没有任何不对。不过我觉得每个月将两三百元捐献给贫穷国家的孩子更有意义。这也是当初选我没有为女儿选择私校的原因之一。

MontrealVivia

呵呵，我也曾有这样的想法啊，在有钱以后我就捐个希望工程。但现在确实泥菩萨过河啊。

Post by jem'enfous2;2417530
您都捐了？真令人敬佩。

宁静 志远

孩子的社交圈子不在于什么学校，好的学校也会有差学生。孩子的性格阳光走到哪里都会有好朋友。我们孩子几年前的同学们现在还联系，每年生日Party老中老外的一大邦孩子。真没发现那犹太人大老板的女儿比西班牙蓝领的孩子素养好多少，都是一样的阳光灿烂的笑脸。相反的是我们孩子有时候会说那犹太女孩在学校有些霸道。

thanksgive

很喜欢那首诗, 再贴个完整的吧. 要做那么开明的父母很难, 需要时时提醒自己.

关于私校公校好象还没有定论(用我们的理论是不是只要学风好就是好学校啊?), 我觉得另外得好好研究一下哪个学校的小孩学得更有乐趣.

On Children
Kahlil Gibran
  Your children are not your children.
  They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
  They come through you but not from you,
  And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
  

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
  For they have their own thoughts.
   You may house their bodies but not their souls,
  For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
  You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
  For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
  

You are the bows from which your children
  as living arrows are sent forth.
  The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
  Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
  For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.