day day up

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Tired of adulation, social intercourse and complex relationship in the society, I came to Canada seeking freedom and happiness as thousands of immigrants do. But when I reach Montreal, I realized that I needed to adjust myself to freedom. Leaded by “leaders” for so many years, I didn’t know what to do without instructions. From then on I have to make decisions by myself. A more suffering problem I have to face is homesick. All my family was left in china --- parents, wife, and son. I was filled with loneliness during that period, for I have no relatives and friends as I landed here. Things get better as time goes by when I made several friends. Although sometimes I still feel lonely, the hardest time has passed. Another problem I feel is that it is hard to mingle with the local society. Maybe it is because of language ability, knowledge of local society, or my weakness in social intercourse. It is hard to start all over again in a totally new environment at the age of 30 when you have to say good-bye to lots of things you familiar with. I keep telling myself to go straight ahead and rise to the challenges.<O:p></O:p>

I’m sure a lot of new immigrants share my feelings. This essay is to mutual encouragement with you as well as writing practice. You are welcome to correct my grammar mistakes.<O:p></O:p>

kevinfrchina

why you and many  many Chinese said you want to mingle to local society? what make you want to mingle to another culture and society? does that means if you do that you will be a true Canadian? or superior than those Chinese who live in China?


why they local guys never show any feeling of mingling to Chinese community? only because this is a English (French) socity, they are the representitive of main culture?so we must mingle to them?

This is a multiculutre society, even the goverment of Canada encourage all immigrants keep their own culutre traditions, why we Chinese always wish become a guy who always drink coffee, eat fastfood, talk about NBA,NHL? does a guy who play Taiji, drink tea, like chinese  delicious food is not a Canadian?

For me, I was born in China, I grow up in China, although I can learn many many Western culture, Most of what I like is Er quan ying yue, Tian,anmen, Tai Mountain, and great chinese people.From my skin to my heart, all of them are made in China, I am proud of it.


Why when someone advice we chinese hang up our Five-star flag to celebrate our victory in Olympic Game, others replied that did that get any discrimination? I can not undrstand what he or she think about.

We should be proud of our great country, no matter it is controled by which party, at least it is a strong country in the would. What make us unhappy is the conflict between US and China, have you warried about any matter between China and some little countries. No, you will never. Can Japan invade China again? No, it is impossible, only because we have nuclear weapons.

Can anyone answer me, if you do not respect yourself and your mother nation, does others can respect you and your mother nation? if you become no diffrence with local peaple, does that means you will get respect ?

Do not make your life too hard, just take it easy, enjoy everything in Canada, it is fun to obtain some labour experience, it is a good opprtunity to taste loneliness, it is exciting to face challenge.  how many years did you not take along vacation? now it is. if you need money, just make it, if you have more money, just spend it.

Finally, we still have the same dream: we will be better than before.  If you want to succeed in no matter your business or your life, you will,maybe. If you never dream  it, you will not, definitely. If you are successful in China, also you can in Canada. Every new immigrants came from China is something, we can get a better future, what we need is time.

kevinfrchina

谢谢你关心我的文章。其实我也是无聊，才天天挂在网上浏览很多蒙城中国人在此网站的帖子。我并不是很愿意与他人在网上长篇大论的辩论，那太无聊也太浪费时间了。 只是我总有一种感觉，就是很多在蒙城的中国人潜意识中很自卑。这种自卑可能本人决不会承认。但是无意中大家可以感觉出来。

例如：无论纠纷大小，只要对方是其他种族的人，只要自认为吃亏了，被欺负了，就感觉受到种族歧视。如果对方真有种族歧视的言论与行为，一定要紧追不放，仅仅要求道歉没有任何意义。我骂你是猪，然后说声对不起，很容易做到的。一定要有经济赔偿，叫对方下次碰到中国人不敢轻易放肆。

再比如：有个哥们提议为了庆祝中国在雅典的出色成绩在自己的汽车上悬挂五星红旗，马上有人回帖：请问，会不会引致歧视呀？怎么会？谁敢？我们那是在庆祝中国的辉煌成就，不是在向外人揭露中国的种种不尽如人意的地方（那才会让人歧视你，你以为你跳到国外就与中国撇清了？你的每一次渲染与夸张都会使外人加深对中国的误解与偏见，其中也包括你！你就是自认为融入“主流”社会，难道你的皮肤会变白，或变黑吗你永远是华人！）。相反，像现在，中国奥运成绩如此之好，我们华人却万马齐喑，那才会引致轻视。反正我是看不起不热爱自己祖国的人。如果你爱它，请表示出来。

再比如：总是有人认为个别中国人的个别行为会损害中国人的形象。我个人认为大可不必。管好你自己就足够了。整个中国移民和留学生团体在加拿大是素质很高的。犯罪率，自杀率是低的。（120万移民，10万留学生，自杀，他杀又有几个？肯定比加拿大整体概率少。）如果你对个别华人的行为不满的话，你可以劝告他，帮助他吗。为什么感到气愤，丢脸却不帮助对方了解更多加拿大的行为规范和习惯？气愤，根本原因是个别同胞的不良习惯会造成轻视，而你自己会因此受累。还是关注自己。

不要自卑。请自尊。别人会尊重一个自尊的人的。从小事做起吧。红灯时请停下来。西人不也闯红灯吗？他不自尊，所以你也就不自尊？公共场合交谈时压低声音吧。这只会使别人认为你更有素养。请每天洗个澡吧，至少洗洗头。虽然很多移民还没有很好的经济条件，但是外表整洁，光鲜至少让自己更快乐，（其实机会降临你头上时，很可能仅仅因为你比竞争对手穿着更精神，腰板挺的更直一点，展示的自信更多一点。）每二句话里一定要说道：thank you, please.向所有人展示你的微笑，那并不表示你的谦卑，而是表示你的自信与友好。
亲爱的同胞们，努力进取吧。享受生活吧。请不要把污言秽语贴上蒙城，那伤害不了别人，那只能证明你是弱者。

我也有很多缺点,希望与大家一起共勉。我爱蒙城，我更爱蒙城的中国人，我的最爱——还是：中国。kevin 28th.August.

Discover

非常赞同Kevin的观点，人只有尊重自己别人才能尊重你，不论我们在哪里。现在我是公司里有史以来的第一个中国员工，每天在SQUARE-VICTORIA站下车时真是少有见中国人的面孔，所以我真得很骄傲，至少我做到了跟当地人一样的，证明我们中国人在哪里都不比别人差。当然成功时我们骄傲，即使做一个普通人，过着平淡的生活，也要永远保持生活的自信。每次当我在感觉最失意的时候，我都会对自己说：“没有什麽可以将我打倒，除非我自己。”

day day up

To kevinfrchina

Thank you for your elegant article! And I fully agree with the second part of it, but for the first part, I have different point of view.<O:p

Let’s begin with the word “mingle”: mingle means to mix so that the components become united. Let me give you an example, ethanol can mingle with organic matters and it can also mingle with water. Following the same principle, to mingle with the local society doesn’t necessarily mean that you will never mingle to you own society any more. In my opinion, mingle doesn’t means betray; doesn’t means becoming a banana, but means survival, means evolution. There is no contradiction between loving China and loving Canada.


why they local guys never show any feeling of mingling to Chinese community? only because this is a English (French) socity, they are the representitive of main culture?so we must mingle to them?

For the above questions, I have to answer “yes”. Because assimilation is inevitable, weather you like it or not. It’s common sense that majority assimilate minority except the minority is far more advanced. Even though, local guys sometimes show their appreciation to Chinese culture. I know that some daycare give money to children as a lunar New Year gift. <O:p</O:p

Although you are not someone share my felling, I appreciate your response. <O:p</O:p

kevinfrchina

to daydayup:

my friend:

I like your article and your reply. I do not want to share any feeling with you and also do not want to blame you at all, I think you are a good guy, what you said is right in the second article.

According to my poor English, I believe that my Chinese article is the real one which I want to express.

keep your character, that is what the most charmful. I agree with you that we dislike to be a banana.For our next generation, I can not say that because they will be Canadian once they are born. No matter we like or not, this is their mother country although it is we couse that.

I wish that we are more self-cnfidence, do not care what others said, and do what we like. good luck, kevin 29th August

xeon

我支持ＫＥＶＩＮ朋友的观点．我们是中国人，黄皮肤黑头发的中国人，都是炎黄子孙．我们以此骄傲．

maipian

说的不错,我有时候也觉得挺累人的,但洗个澡,想想,还得去轻松的面对自己的生活..如意的,不如意的都是自己的,自己的生活绝对不能理亏了自己...不过和国内比起来,的确是忙的太多了....:eek!: