惜别―谨献给我的爱妻翠琴

peterpan1668 · 发表于 2006-10-22 10:49

惜别－谨献给我的爱妻翠琴

光阴如梭，你的音容笑貌、你的温馨犹在，然一瞬间时光已无情地让日月跨过了十个年载。。。是天意仰或命运嘲弄？十年的煎熬虽令我好不容易闯过了鬼门关，将我们的爱女拉扯成人；然诸事却不尽人意。爱女已不是原来的爱女，而我已不能再自夸为尽职的慈父。。。扪心自问，虽不知错在那儿，然实在愧对你的托付。。。借你十年之忌日之际再次谢罪并期望你的灵魂或能化解我们父女间的鸿沟。我自知我的要求是否合乎天意？然除此之外我已缩手无策。。。

一、缅怀

你匆匆来到这个世界，又带着万般的忧伤留恋，没留一言亦无一语；你使尽那最后的余力睁开双眼：怀着那无尽的情感爱恋，注视着你的挚爱和我们那善良美丽的小公主，恋恋不舍地握着她的小手。是永别的时候了，不论你是否情愿，亦甚至没有倾诉心声的机会。。。

带着希望和憧憬，怀着善良和情爱，你来到了这个本以为充满美好情爱的世界。在天堂的大殿，无数次你注视着这惊奇的世界：彩虹点缀着蔚蓝的天空大地，阳光的温暖令万物充满生机。千姿百态的生灵们尽情地在丛林玩耍嬉戏，人们温馨和谐地生活相处。在那山色秀丽的伊犁园，随着那阵阵鸟语花香，情侣们依偎着正戚戚细语，犹如那一对对热恋中的相思鸟互相倾诉着彼此的爱慕和眷恋。。。

这正是你所向往的世界！你祈求上帝允许你降临这个神奇的世界，因为那里有你的梦想。或许是时间的错位，神灵错将你放逐到了一个完全陌生的世界。天空是那么的黑暗，大地又是那么的荒凉。欺凌拐骗，狡诈凶残处处充斥着这个光怪陆离的世界。。。

忽然，一头仓皇试图摆脱追捕的小羊闯入了你的视野：长时间的奔逃已令它累得精疲力尽，然那恶狼仍紧追不舍。小羊已无处躲藏，它全身颤抖，哭泣伴随着凄惨的哀鸣；惊吓以至它无法保持自身的平衡，然绝望的目光仍残留着一丝求生的欲望。它不甘地扫视着周围的一切，试图探索任何令其得以生存的一线生机。。。

目睹眼前发生的一切，你已无法忍心让那小生命丧生在恶狼的魔爪之下。你似乎忘却了恶狼的凶残，亦顾不了自己也不过似一个弱小女孩，一个箭步迅速地抱起了那可怜的小生命，带着它飞快的逃离那不祥之地。。。

置身于荒山旷野黑暗之中，。没有人烟，没有食物，更没有花香和鸟语，占有狂风的肆虐和无情的霹雳雷电，诡秘叵测的大山深处不时传来恐怖凄惨的呼啸令你无所适从亦无法找到归宿。你轻轻怃摸着那可怜的唯一和你相依为命的小生命，让其安详地躺在你的怀抱而试图平息它的不安。雷雨似乎没有要停的意思，虽然你浑身几乎湿透，仍不忘用你的衣衫为那小精灵遮挡雨水的侵袭。

跪下双膝你祈求上帝允许你回到你所向往的地方而不是这人间地狱；然一切均已为时太晚。你试图了解这个世界，期望以你的仁爱善良赢得理解以换得一席生存之地。然而无论任何努力，以至将你拥有的一切完全奉献于这个世界，却仍然无法获得接纳。你试图探索一条通往你所向往世界的通道，无奈这世界如同迷宫一般令你永远无法改变命运无情的作弄和困扰。。。

柔弱善良，使你永远无法理解的是为何如此庞大容纳着万物生灵的世界竟然没有你赖以生存的立锥之地；纯洁仁慈令你永远无法了解这个实在不够公平的世界。怀着万般的忧伤和创痛，带着那无尽的忧虑和爱恋，你终于摆脱了这魔鬼般世界的枷锁而重返你的天国。。。

• 惜别―谨献给我的爱妻翠琴：一、缅怀

福娃 · 发表于 2008-1-29 09:51

我流泪了,为孩子,也为先生的坎坷.

2dian · 发表于 2008-1-29 07:07

伟大的父爱。

peterpan1668 · 发表于 2008-1-29 03:10

一份唯一而特殊的生日礼物

关于“LIFE EXPERIENCE& ADVICE”的感想

女儿终于成人了！二十数载含辛茹苦，人生征途的种种坎坷，尤其是当我遗妻撒手人寰，除了中年丧妻的阵阵隐痛、生意的失意和人生旅途的彷徨之外，仍不得不拖着疲惫、脆弱的身子既当爹又当妈的设法将遭受多种打击的爱女抚养成人，这份心情只有自已才能体会。。。

  遗妻含冤谢世了。然活着的仍得活下去――尤其是尚肩负抚育下一代的重任，使得身心万分疲惫的我不得不挣扎着和接踵不断的厄运拼搏抗争。为了不失言对遗妻的许诺，即便为了生存不得不羞愧地靠食物银行的接济生存，仍坚持让爱女继续就读私立中学。

  一日三餐是对付过去了，自己的穿着亦可将就；但是再穷女儿的衣服还得体面。从爱女十二岁丧母，每当她的生日更成了我的心病。每年除了以我和她母亲的名义送上一份贺卡，总设法为她准备一份薄礼以尽做父亲的心意；可是当她十六周岁生日的来临，却实在把我彻底愁坏了。

  大凡就读私立的的家庭多少有些儿家底，然我女儿偏偏是个例外。十六周岁的生日无论就中西方文化而言都是一件大事；女儿在那期间整天穿梭于同学和朋友之间的十六年华的派对之中暂时忘却了自身的境况。然而这一天总得到来。。。

  爱女长得的确是人见人爱。在大陆，整个街坊、单位的同事和朋友均将其娇惯得如小公主一般；即便来到了加国，除了还是那么甜美，她那善解人意和宽容令其仍在我新的朋友圈内一如既往的获得宠爱。然家事不幸非但重创了我的心态，也无可避免地波及到了她的成长并在她的心灵烙上了伤痛的烙印。。。

  十六周岁对每个人生来说都是一个重大的转折，况且她还是一个没了娘的孩子？看看她周围每个孩子十六周岁生日的风光，囊中羞涩的我欲实在是一无所措。。。记得接她由学校回来的路上，女儿错愕地睁着一双泪眼凝望着我――因为她实在无法相信握这既当爹又当妈的父亲竟然会把自己唯一的女儿十六周岁的生日忘了一干二净。。。

  望着泪水洗面的女儿，我除了默默陪着流泪，人儿仿佛成了一具僵硬的雕塑。除了钱财买来的礼物，思绪再三，几乎一无所有的我还能拿什么作为爱女的生日礼物？躺在床上，渐渐的，天花板成了我人生一幕幕坎坷历程的屏幕――由此，【LIFE EXPERIENCE & ADVICE】便成了女儿十六周岁生日唯一的特殊礼物了：

LIFE EXPERIENCE & ADVICE

  Never hurt or trust anyone easily unless it proved

  Never give up easily unless you found a reason

  Keep eyes open, listen a message & try much less to open a mouth

  Keep contact with your friends & support each other

  Don’t let everyone to read your mind

  Don’t make any promises easily unless you could offer it

  Always knew what you doing & why you did it

  Always looking forward to watch your next steppes

  Refresh what’s happened in the day before go to your bed

  Never feel useless because you already did your Best

  By then go ahead:

  Take every opportunity & advantage to enjoy everymoment of your life!

Wrote it for my daughter Rosy’s 16th birthday& edited on her engagement day.

回顾：TOYS （玩具）

惜别―谨献给我的爱妻翠琴[全文]

peterpan1668 · 发表于 2008-1-9 14:32

For certain point, I agreed with you--and it made me recall about 10 years ago when I was chatting with girl from Indonisia who hate our Chinese with no reason...

We were chatting each other a few weeks already, and everything seem smooth also gentle with all the coversation we had; but suddenly she stopped to chat with me when I told her that I am a Chinese.

To make a story short, I brought her back and asking her why, and I made her understood the reason why a lot of Chinese has business to run also own properties, which just a few of them even they are the original people here (it happened at most of eastern/Southern countries in Asian).

Finally we became friends again. You made a good point here as you mentioned; but how to solution? To be involved with majority sociaty, involve with the politic and the legal justice system.

Yes, we do have to adjust ourselves to feet in the majority society, but It not enough to accept as you mentioned of "the goverment will not let you starve and die. " because we are equal as same like the majority people here.

As you believe I am over reacting with the treatment I received; not a problem, I am willing to meet you in person and to let you see by your own eyes before you confirm your this conclusion

Nice to exchange our thoughts; but I would more pleased to discuss with you at the thread I already link it to you:
社区活动公告 Bulletin Board:
老潘，我建议你挑头成立一个移民间互相帮助，互相排解烦恼的组织。【回复MONTREAL1999】

Post by mfeous
"lots of Chinese have money, because we work harder"

this is the root for lots of problems. because of the money, lots of us work like a dog, no life at all, because of money or career, lots of us even send their babies back to china and let their grandparnets to take care of them.....
some people might argue they have no choices. it is nonesense! why do you need a big house? why do you have to have cable? why do you need cellphone..., worst of worst, even if you don't have any of above things, the goverment will not let you starve and die.

re ajust our thinking and have a balanced view of the life, this is what i am talking about

i think you overreacted to say "we didn't receive equal treatment from the majority society in many ways". frankly speaking, i think this is a firely justed society in many ways, but defineity it is not perfect.

i had similar expreince, but i don't blame the system. simply you and i can not use one or 2 inccidents to make the conclusion.

mfeous · 发表于 2008-1-9 13:44

"lots of Chinese have money, because we work harder"

this is the root for lots of problems. because of the money, lots of us work like a dog, no life at all, because of money or career, lots of us even send their babies back to china and let their grandparnets to take care of them.....
some people might argue they have no choices. it is nonesense! why do you need a big house? why do you have to have cable? why do you need cellphone..., worst of worst, even if you don't have any of above things, the goverment will not let you starve and die.

re ajust our thinking and have a balanced view of the life, this is what i am talking about

i think you overreacted to say "we didn't receive equal treatment from the majority society in many ways". frankly speaking, i think this is a firely justed society in many ways, but defineity it is not perfect.

i had similar expreince, but i don't blame the system. simply you and i can not use one or 2 inccidents to make the conclusion.

Post by peterpan1668
To mfeous: Look at over our overseas Chinese society--yes, lots of Chinese have money, because we work harder; but we didn't receive equal treatment from the majority society in many ways. Yes, today the situation is better than before, but still. It's hard to explain to you unless you might experience it by your own.

To 圆明园: I agreed with you and you made very good points here "together we can build trust. " Let's try our best!

By the way, the thread removed to 社区活动公告 Bulletin Board:
老潘，我建议你挑头成立一个移民间互相帮助，互相排解烦恼的组织。【回复MONTREAL1999】

Welcome to join the discussion HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL

圆明园 · 发表于 2008-1-9 10:07

my kind of trust is inclusive and universal

tracyzhu · 发表于 2008-1-9 09:53

崇拜下，祝福下~~~有需要的就发帖，虽然我刚来什么都不懂，但也折服于你们所做的

peterpan1668 · 发表于 2008-1-9 07:59

To mfeous: Look at over our overseas Chinese society--yes, lots of Chinese have money, because we work harder; but we didn't receive equal treatment from the majority society in many ways. Yes, today the situation is better than before, but still. It's hard to explain to you unless you might experience it by your own.

To 圆明园: I agreed with you and you made very good points here

"together we can build trust. " Let's try our best!

By the way, the thread removed to 社区活动公告 Bulletin Board:
老潘，我建议你挑头成立一个移民间互相帮助，互相排解烦恼的组织。【回复MONTREAL1999】

Welcome to join the discussion

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL

圆明园 · 发表于 2008-1-8 14:22

mfeous, i can't agree more with you.
it is very important to have rule of law.
however, to make it work we must build trust, trust between individuals.

together we can build trust.
1. to be fair, any exchange must be mutually beneficial
2. to be honest, yesterday's deal may look stupid, but we must honor our commitment
3. if we do it all the time, we will have a trust worthy reputation, it will make everything easy.