alven

1. Take the initiative to give up the proceedings against Baker's family, cancel this case as you can if possible, because your aim is to give love to He Mei, but the suit will only hurt both of your two families. That will make He Mei very sad, and that is not the love to her.  
2. Since the consideration of Baker's economic condition and compare with that by your family, no doubt his family can offer He Mei a better and easy life when she is growing up and more important for the education she seems know little Chinese, so take her back to China is not a good disicion as a part of her.   
3. For the good of your daughter He Mei, contact with Mr. Baker privately see if he can permit you see the girl, but be careful to pay attention to your attitude and say apologize to him first, for he might feel hurt also during this troublesome case, he might lose his temper too, so try to negociate with him if you can like take a  visit to He Mei periodly, or any fasion he thinks it's necessory to maintain your kinship relationship of your couple and your daughter.
4. If there's no chance to make things go smooth in, because you lose one time of oppotunity, then appeal to court for another case with the reason of your special situation you have to ask Baker's help to breed He Mei and request court take thinking of that, and also should submit your desire to love He Mei but not to take advantage of her. Apply to as a term to make judge to review your case in another angle--not in custody but for visitation right, as you have 3 children to take care but Baker is probably not so. That's to say in custody you will lose, but in visiting as a family member you will win, even you can propose court to sentence Baker send your He Mei to China on her summer vacation if you will stay in China later. Baker is a rich person, he can afford the plane tickets and let him do it.  
5. What you do now is not to make dilemma to Mr. Baker at the moment to which it is the most important to you. Show this first, and later on, after the things become calm,  you can go to talk to him again. After all, he has been helping your family and worths your respect not your case to him.
6. As for your parent‘s love to He Mei, you can have all the oppotunity in your lifelong time. So one day, one month, or even one year you are not able to see her or talk with her, it doesn't mean you don't love her, you can make compensation to your beloved daughter.   

Keep in mind to maintain a good relation with Mr. Baker's family which will benefit He Mei and her well being very much. From that, the content will satisfy both two families.

Good Luck to Mr. He and your family.  

Alven
30/08/08