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书出了三本，太过阳春白雪卖不了，吃饭成问题。本想接着写的，挺好的书。多年的努力不能得到人的认同和尊重。老实话，又是老实话，吃这碗饭就得挨得住穷。卖玉能赚点钱，勉强玩玩，贴补一下。最近再想人这一生到底是来人世一遭干个什么的问题，希望学佛能给我一个完美的答案。书接着卖，直到它能打开点销路为止，拿钱做了点市场，希望从长远的角度看能有效，很贵啊！这个做市场，不知怎么搞的钱就花出去了，最怕没个效果，白花了钱干不了事。愿望还和以前一样，45岁前能开上一个属于自己的古金店，卖点大小古玩玩其一生了，发大财就不想了,想不想写下去还在矛盾中。婚姻就再说了，现在也不大想，总是没个有缘人啊。。。。。。。。再说说书的事，上次看到说是丹。布郎的Da Vinci Code卖了几千万本，成就一个千万富翁都够啊！羡慕中，说不好也会走上流行疑案的路子，人生说得太多了也就没人信了，人就这样啊！不能说是很犬儒主义，但基本上是属于欲求无限的。。。。。。。。想想那基督教(曾经信过一阵了)，就是求知欲太强也是罪的啊！佛家就不这样了，他希望你能多修，好好修。修好啊！不管多高多广都能靠修来解决了！

xhu

When I was very young, I read a book called "Besieged City" by a Chinese famous writer QIan Zhongshu. It talked about human life as "Besieged City", and famous verse is "When someone is outside the city, he/she wants to get in, when some is in the city, he/she wants to go out." I think the reasoning applies to all human beings, that we sometimes go in and out the city of our choice when we are sad, not satisfied, or simply for self-interest or pleasure. This is not cynicism. It is ironic, and in the novel, as character are mainly scholar as special group of human beings, the irony develops to sneer. The novel sneers at this group of people, and when we read it, we feel the sneer, so as it will apply to ourself. Yes, we Chinese sneer at ourselves, even more in literature than normal life situation.

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I bought a pack of Rothman Kingsize Red, not the blue pack, sometimes blue one will strike you. By refering to such, I am also refering to some homeless bunnies. I saw today on TV these California homeless bunnies, and they say they live there, in an abandoned yard. Regarding to these abandoned bunnies, I have something to say,
1. Bunnies live there, it is the fact but not because of their misfortune;
2. Bunnies live there and they can not live anywhere else; or humans will catch them and cook them;
3. These unfortunate bunnies, now unfortunate, people abandoned them and they reproduce fast, so what is really the problem, people will cook them anyway.
that's why I bought Rothman Kingsize Red, not Blue, the best cigarette I can found here in the west. Sometimes blue will strike you. Anyway, hide bunnies in your tall hat, and hatch your own eggs.

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Talk about Chinese, we used to kneel to Chinese emperor and our ancestors in the court or at their tombs. Last time in my sister's wedding, my sister and her newly wedded husband kneeled to my parents and brought them tea in the ceremony. This is old, the old tradition, but my sister did bring it alive. It made me think a lot, about emperalism and liberty, about Chines tradition. Please enjoy my poem, "The Imminent Fern".

The imminent fern
Sha Yan
The imminent fern
Neat and sleek
Tidy and small
Breaks in an decent sky
Lynn and lean
In a timid sleigh
It is vast in the sea
Link to the distant cliché
It grows
Grows small spores
Green and tidy
In a manner of its kneel
Skirt it wears
Sleigh it seizes
Glee it is immense
The imminent fern
The imminent fern
Full of spirit
Glimmer it clings
Vanish in the twilight it gleans

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学这帮高鼻子还真不容易。。。。。。。。

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Secret Confess
---Sir Gawin and Green Knight

SHA YAN

It happened on Sunday morning. When the bell in the local church rang, I was still in bed, did not want to get up. It was 9am. Last night I watched the show, Space Odyssey, it was wonderful. The whole Saturday night, I was in a dream. The warriors in the show always came into my dream. I was brave there.
Twenty years ago, I was baptized in a local church. Before that, I was in a college. I had some good time. Time passed by fast and it did not allow me to think a lot about these kind of things, things like growing up. Too many years living in the west, I always felt the wonder. It seemed to me that western people are so different from easterners.
I came many years ago from the east. It was also wonderful there without me to realize very much. People from east are quite different here than people residing there. It is hard to tell but it still looked obvious. Anyway, stories are always long.
Living in Canada, I was influenced a lot by American movies. Canada, it was rather not that fascinating. There are more other interesting things here. It is also fun. Movies like What dreams may come.always impact me. They are also many movies that I can remember. I like American movies.
I didn't have a very bad time in the college. I was always fine with my classes, and it was so good and wonderful to get good grades. I especially liked English classes, and my English skills improved fast. I became good in my classes, among the tops. In the senior year, class contents became harder and harder, and sometimes I had some difficulties. Literature classes impressed me. Hawthorne's stories like Young Good Man Brown and Scarlet Letter, as well as English poem like Sir Gawin and Green Knight were just that impressive. They made me understand more about eternal life. Shakespeare's play such as Tempest made me think more about symbol of God in western point of view, the Prospero in the drama. Later on after I believed in God, I still remembered them. Well, they are stuff that are good to read.
My life went on. I went on for studying Science and Engineering in university. I wanted to become an engineer, even though I did not know what engineering is all about by that time. It was a top profession in my time, and I was very good at those, like math and physics. Well, in old times, bridges cannot be built from nothing. Story was long. Time went by, I grew up.
Sometimes unrecognisable and unwanted darkness took control over me. There everything could happen. It was helpless. I was not the only one. And, sometimes I could feel the holiness was with me, the peace after the storm. It went fine. I still remembered that movie, What dreams may come.Life after death, and eternity, I think. It seemed to me that they like to portray that, Americans. Some other movies I can't name also have these contents in them. I am not lying.
Graduation did not come easy, in turn, some working experience accompanied with a degree and high expectation in career did succeed me. I turned out to work in US. Well, life became easier. I got the Jack Pot after all.
It was unrecognisable, unwontedly true. When the lightin the darkness accompanies with the Bloomfield spring fall. I took trips all the time to visit the nature. When the summer came, warm sunlight scattering from higher atmosphere in Bloomfield still wonderfully amazed me, azalea, still. After the blooming flowering season, red maples filled with this town in Northern California, and being seen eagles and Browntomb did stress the true dream. Stressful equally at the same time, birds on the tree found scorpions underneath the earth came out under the sun. What the earth? I found. When the movies and TVs and dancing clubs and ceased peace and, whatever cosmos and earth and earthly astrological beliefs filled with men and women's brain, and plum's and peach's naturalness and spring falls in Bloomfield made bloom easy. What a heaven? God believed me.
In turn, Christmas came in the winter. Another year turned over the solar calendar. Quick clock ticked the slower one will damage the slower clock, who is going to believe it? After all, they are clocks. Life is not a race, some people say. I am not one of them. Well, calendars were made for people, not for clocks. I went all the way too fast. Maybe... Bridges, I went back to Canada. Do I believe calendar or the clock? Damn, it is like a cat catching a mouse, the mouse fights back and wants to catch the cat, at least I felt that way. When Adam Smith invented his famous economic theory, he never wants the society to go backward. The theory can't be wrong, that many years. I wouldn't think people in society want the backward. These kinds of things, forever like puzzles to be solved, engineers and scientists and economists and others are always solving them. I went back to the calendar and the clock. People invented calendar, and people invented clocks. Here the question comes, who invents faster since our society progresses too fast? Fast people or slower people, anyway, who can invent faster than computers invent? Invention. Invent gene, people say. What a mass? Who is going to be better than whom?Will we manifest all these or simply live better?
Who can answer these kinds of questions? God believed me, but he never promised me he would answer all my questions. Waterfalls from the mountains did not make me bloom after I came back. I pretty much missed the time I had in Bloomfield. Azalea, I always can make the comparison. What is the problem with rhododendrons?
When the choir sang in the local church in Bloomfield, I joined them. Too much missing the flowering season, building bridges would take too much money, manpower, time, also energy after the ceased peace from reach of heaven to every edge of the earth. Bridges, I went back here, I remembered. Will I still want to build it here? I have other choices too.
When I was young, I liked to solve problems. Problems in math were easy to me. Later on physics, chemistry, biology and others came, other problems came as well. When I grew up, I came to Canada. Here, trees were green, flower bloomed in its natural way. Rather, I found it here a better place. Math, physics and chemistry became so easy. Things are getting easier and easier here. Not bad. Growing ups and trees and flowers and people mixed places here is definitely too different from the orient, I found. When the music and dance ceased, and at the same time, I couldn't keep my grades up and stress stresses me. And when animals are all playing in the field, I wondered the wonder would be still wonderful? Plums got to bloom some time too. They found, maybe, I think. Plums bloom in a natural way will be plums' naturalness that is really what I think. Plums, let's eat them, they say, rather in a strange manner. Definitely not plums' plum.
Spring came in its way after the Christmas again and again. Two years walking in the maple valley already. What would be the spring falls like in Bloomfield now? I missed it there. Bridges built in such an easy way is still a miracle, and as a very experienced engineer, I was thinking about manifestations to build the bridge. Again, money, manpower, and other possible fibrous crossed my mind. Would it be still possibly possible to bloom the maple valley? I wondered. What about the natural greens? One thing was always clear to me; bridges were not built from nothing. Water falls from the Bloomfield breed maple valley at no much cost, what an idea? I am rather a good man, I think. What will natural greens think, though? Plums bloom in plums' naturalness and greens bloom in their naturalness, which one is going to win? What an earth? When the movies and TVs and newsprints and press hold came and went away, what a man I was and what I would become and, most importantly, what I would do. For Heaven's sake. Mountains cannot fall apart, and trees won't fall too. People can. Water flow, I think. At least, mountains and trees and flowers and grass and bushes and wild bushes and, land and people and jungles all need water. Water flow!!I made my choice.
Hopefully rhododendrons will not always be on my way towards my way. God believed me, many thanks to Him. Thank you, Lord.

xhu

I recently spent $305 for a CLarion Foreword Review service for my title, "Chinese Incarnation" by Sha Yan, ONE STAR, PLEASE SEE BELOW FOR THE REVIEW,

Sha Yan shares more closely in a tradition more recent than this book’s title would suggest. His attention to sound and love of consonance speaks to the language poets—although it is unclear as to whether that kinship is intentional or not.
Yan is the author of two previous volumes, Yuan’s Place and Imminent Ferns, and he writes in both Chinese and English. In this collection, the poet, currently a resident of Canada, takes a number of everyday places and situations and strives to wring from them a greater resonance. He sees children playing, enjoys a cup of coffee, witnesses autumn. Unfortunately, the majority of the poems add up to little more than their situations and an urge for the reader to be attentive and to enjoy life. These messages are worthy enough, but offer little that is new.
Yan does use words in new ways: swash, sleigh, dough, and other words repeat throughout the book, but the way that readers are meant to understand the words is unclear. For instance, in “Key, key in the ray,” Yan writes, “Key, key in the ray / Sleigh, in the adjacent desert spirit / Key is not a lie / And ray is written, may.” Meaning eludes, but what is clear is the enjoyment of sound—the assonance of the long a sound in contrast to the hard k. Unfortunately, without meaning, the sound ultimately becomes a pleasurable pattern but little more. “Sleigh” is reused repeatedly and sometimes with great potential. In “Sleigh in the Ash” the very title creates a provocative image and one need not work hard to imagine blades sluicing through ash and ember, but the poet never arrives at the image. He never actually explores or broadens the idea.
Often, the poems suffer from that lack of curiosity and depth. Poems remain one dimensional and explanatory if they have meaning at all.
The poet also largely disdains punctuation, and his lines lack intention. They break without attention to meaning or nuance, and the book lacks a cohesive idea or practice to connect it. Still, Yan does show occasional moments of loveliness. In “Merry Lover’s Grace,” for example, he writes, “Light up a cigarette, / Let the thin memory, / Supplementing the floating smoke / Rise up slow.” In this brief moment, the metaphor of the diaphanous smoke works well with the idea of a reluctant memory rising to the surface. In moments like these, Yan achieves his self-proclaimed status as a poet.
Camille-Yvette Welsch at Clarion Foreword Review

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China Qinghai Yushu has suffered from an earth quake of magnitude 7.1. I would like to help. In this season, from April-June, 2010, for every sale of my book, "Chinese Incarnation", 2 dollars of the proceeding will go directly to Qinghai Earth Quake Appeal managed by Canadian Red Cross. Please see below for ordering information,
hard cover,
http://www.lulu.com/product/hard ... ncarnation/10291814
paperback,
http://www.lulu.com/product/pape ... ncarnation/10291861
In addition, downloadable soft copy will count as $2 per copy as well.
For April, please enter code "SHOWERS" at checkout to have additional 10% discount on sales.

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顶一顶。。。。。。

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