网上英语角

Ferdinand · 发表于 2002-5-20 20:18

To tweaty,
"to be hung like a black man"means "to have old2 always up or as big as a blackman " ??
To matrix,
I thought the answer to your joke is "weishengjin", isn't it ?

RickLiu · 发表于 2002-5-20 20:59

Ferdinand, 嘘......(WHISPER)小声点儿

tweaty · 发表于 2002-5-21 00:15

Right, did you enjoy the jokes?
To Homesick, your problem is that 学有余而应用不足.
学课本只能应付考试,只有应用,把英语当做工具才能成为英语的主人而不是奴隶.
从现在就开始行动吧, one year later, you will see the difference.

Jingren · 发表于 2002-5-21 22:50

（5）薄荷糖和英语
它们之间本来没有太大的联系。
上班时间。地铁等了好一会儿还没来，于是塞了粒薄荷糖到嘴里。这时，传来广播的声音（法语），似乎说是哪条线出了什么问题。想搞明白怎么回事，左顾右盼，发现身边只有一位老外小年轻也正用探望的神色看着我。我问他广播里说什么，他说他也不知道，也不懂法语。
于是我们交谈了起来。他是McGill的学生，来自温哥华，英语是他的母语。
交谈了有那么半晌的时间，我觉得有些奇怪：我的英语怎么说得这么溜？和他交流已没有任何问题，自己的口音尤其地道。这不？接下来，他就直夸我英语说得棒极了。
又交谈了蛮长的时间，发现他开始用“I’m sorry”了，接着一句又一句“Pardon me”。怎么回事？
直到他下车，我才恍然大悟：原来是薄荷糖用完了。

写到这里，突然想起一个问题：河流为什么总是弯弯曲曲的？您知道吗？(by the way, how to translate this question? Thanks!)

tweaty · 发表于 2002-5-23 12:12

Try another one, enjoy:
<<Liver and Cheese>>
Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a  
beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over  
themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up  
arriving in front of her at the same time.
 
The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves  
and hoping for just a glance from her in return. Aware of her  charms and  
her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them  
"The first one who can use the words "liver" and "cheese"  together in an  
imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me."
 
The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says "I love liver and cheese."
 
"Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever."  
She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said "How well can you do?"
 
"Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever.
My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's  just as dumb as the Lab's sentence." 
 
She then turns to the last of the  three dogs and  says, "How about you, little guy?"
 
The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the  Taco Bell Chihuahua. 
He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says  
 "Liver alone. Cheese mine."

gaaag · 发表于 2002-5-23 16:22

A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket again and orders another shot. The bartender is curious and askes him "every time you order a shot, you look in your shirt pocket. Why?" The man replies, "I have a picture of my wife in my pocket and when she starts to look good, I go home."
then,a pretty girl come to him and say "liver wine,shot mine".

tweaty · 发表于 2002-5-24 09:40

Just a hint to our readers. Chihuahua is a dog from Mexico, so he speaks in Mexican accent.

The following is a straight one, no puzzle, just joke.

A Lesson in Government
A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.
When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.

His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''

''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.

''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.

''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of shit!''

gaaag · 发表于 2002-5-27 14:06

Tweat,I think it is a good idea to practise english by rewriting the joke. here, I practise one.

One day a black teenager was told in a class that the people names are usually initiated by their parent with special attention and mind. After school, the boy comes to his mother with a puzzle look on his face” say mon, why is my big brother called as Might Storm”
“oh”,his mother said,” he was conceived in a might storm day. I still remembered this marvellous day”
Then, the boy said, “why is my sister named cornflower”? The mother replied with sweet smile ”well, your father and I were in a land full of corn flower when we made her”.
The boy continued his curious and asked, ”so what happened to my other sister Moonchild”? Her mother said” We were watching the moon-landing when she was conceived.” then, the mother paused and said to the boy upsettingly ”do not ask any more, why don’t go to play with your brother, Torn Rubber”.
:p

s1234 · 发表于 2002-5-27 14:09

How to answer these two questions:

1. How would you like to work?

2. How would you like to work for us?

gaaag · 发表于 2002-5-27 14:23

just my understanding
1)asking what is your work plans or your requirments to solve the problem.
2)asking what is your contribution to them.