EnjoyLife

" 理想和现实有差距,面对现实需要勇气."
I strongly agree yanghb!!!

I have similar experiece as tiresome. There are one fast restarant, every time I go, they serve me very slowly, always let me wait. I was upset. Actually I was not sure if they are mean to me because of racial descriminatin or just they don't like me as a single individual.  

Sometimes I complained when I felt this, and then felt better. If I felt necessary, I would quarrel with those people whiel trying not be really angry in my mind :-). It is better than keep the grievance in heart.

Besides, I feel people are same in that he/she will give up if you are more strong than him/her. I think some of our Chinese friends are behaving too nice, especially with white people, it won't bring their respect to us. My experience when dealing with Americans is, be strong, even aggressive, but in a good manner.

Again, thank you Tiresome for sharing your feelings. Maybe we are a little more sensitive in this matter, and we have less direct frustrating experience of unfair treatment in China, but we definitely have the right to clarify and/or fight against any descrimination.  Free expression of opinion and feeling is part of western culture I feel good about.

shanshan

I like EnjoyLife's attitude. BTW, I am not showing off my English. For some reasons, I can only read Chinese but can not write in Chinese.
Everybody sometimes has the feeling to complain when we think we are treated unfairly. Everybody sometimes needs advice from others but in a nice way.
Discrimination exists everywhere even in China. In Canada, I believe the situation must be better than in other foreign countries as there are many different ethnics here. I am very proud of being a Chinese. Here few Chinese live on welfare. Most of us have high-level education. Although some of us are studying in universities and living on loan and bursuary, we are preparing to be a taxes payer later. Let's be confident and less sensitive.

yorku

上学时学马哲，记得有‘内因决定外因，内因起决定作用’这一原理。外因是你不可改变的，只能通过改变内因来作用于外因，从而达到最终改变外因的目的。
打个也许不恰当的比方：
比方说你长了6个手指，还有一些其他东西也和别人不一样，别人都看你不顺眼，你不可能堵住所有人的嘴，自己私下痛骂笑话你的人似乎可解一时之气，但恐怕也不能避免下次还被人笑。怎么办呢？积极的方法有二：
1。痛下决心，割掉6指和所有不同，和别人一样。
可是因6指和其他是遗传，你又觉得割了要被自己家人看不起，况且你的家人还有7指，8指的呢，更难看，可你也不可能让他们全割了，何况你的遗传里还有很多好的东西，丢了可惜呢。
2。多向笑话你的人展示你遗传中好的部分，并努力发扬光大它们，带起手套来，把那不好看的6指收好。（偶尔在家人面前露一下倒不要紧〕久而久之，人们一定会不再注意你的6指了，甚至有可能连你家人的7指，8指也忽略了呢。

当然，也有消极的方法：干脆躲在家里别出门，反正家人还有比你还难看的呢，谁也别笑话谁。  

wang8

yorku, you get it!
best analysis i've ever seen on this site.

dancing cat

争了这么久，大家一定都累了，心平气和地坐下来歇歇吧，手捧一杯香茗，一起来欣赏一篇写得不错的好文章，想象着我们大家都一起围坐在壁炉边，每个人脸上都洋溢着一种平和安逸的、友善的微笑。不知为什么，很多寂寞、空虚、失意的时候，我总会想起坛子里的大家，想象着每个人的样子，想象着每一个人的生活，想起你们的时候，就会让我觉得我并非那么孤独，并非正身处异乡，因为你们就是我血浓于水的同胞呀！
多一点点理解吧，再多一点点宽容！下面转载的这篇文章，希望你们喜欢！

歧视人和被人歧视的中国人

dannelwang

哥们，对待帝国主义一定要冷静，因为我们的力量的确处于劣势，但是，毛主席说过，战略上要轻视，战术上要重视。只要冷静坚持，中国人民一定能胜利，这是得到上千年历史证实的一个真理。

地域歧视、方言歧视、衣着歧视等等，在中国境内也很普遍，倒不是白人的专利，这些现象估计百十年内不会消失，关键看你怎么对待。通过自己生闷气是解决不了任何问题的。对付什么人要有什么招式。对付一般市井百姓只要摆出一副我是流氓我怕谁的姿态，死猪不怕开水烫，你能把我怎么着，百战百胜。当然要是单位或组织对你不公，那当然要以文明人的姿态与之交涉。

我十几岁刚到上海的时候也常常碰钉子，开始极愤怒，后来发现愤怒根本改变不了社会，慢慢的就变成流氓了。像我这样的人肯定很多，于是可以得出结论，社会害了我，我也害了社会。你今天蔑视我，过几天也许就被流氓抢劫，因为流氓是他们的前辈逼出来的？

譬如我是河南人，在北京有300万，备受歧视，我就在拥挤的公交车上跟一个很烦的北京老太讨论，说：“对，太对了，河南人都是猪，我给你一把刀，你直接把我这头猪捅死，多好？可惜你不敢，即使把我弄死了，还有300万，你捅的过来吗？不行，唉，没办法。还有一个办法，你来颁布一项法律，把河南人都赶走，啊，可惜，你颁布的法律估计没有人遵照执行，唉，没有办法，那你说怎么办呢。”该老太一定要郁闷好几个钟头。要是别人嫌你烦，你就自尊心受到了伤害，然后下车步行，岂不正中其下怀，将更加助长其嚣张气焰。因此一定要摸清敌人的心里，偏偏不能顺其意，他们才会服了你。

不知我的这种思想是否为中国人民劣根的表现之一？

yorku

I knew why everybody looks down He Nan Ren again and again.     

hiker

yorku, why do you jump on this conclusion so fast?

很多偏见根本就没有理由，dannelwang的方法是有点痞，但是有可能是受了满腹怨气的一种集中爆发，而且是他个人所为，你凭什么就下结论打击所有的河南人？------偶不是河南人，没有个人恩怨，只是不赞同你的逻辑。仅此。

leowangca

大家好：

我个人认为，发生歧视的问题，原因还是人数太少，如果华人的比例达到了50%，情况会有所改变的。

意见可能不对，希望大家见谅。

LEO