Notnot,
You are so perfect, beautiful and at the same time you are so vulnerable.
I have no doubt whatsoever that your present husband is not worth even 1% of your love, (but I am not here to judge and/or to blame him, he is entitled to live his own life as he likes) I am here with all my heart to encourage you to go on with your beautiful life without him. You will be much better off on your own. You are such a wonderful person.