杏林树下

怱对葱说: 做了一个青草发型,就不忽悠了?

杏林树下

1. Brother wanted
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus, "send me a brother"
Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

2. Meaning of WIFE
Husband asks, "Do you know the meaning of WIFE?   It means 'Without Information Fighting Everytime'!"
Wife replies, "No, it means  'With Idiot For Ever'!!!"

3.. Importance of a period
Teacher: "Do you know the importance of a period?"
Kid: "Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away."
  
4. Confident vs. confidential
A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential?"
Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential!"

Tinkerbell

感谢LZ, 加油！

杏林树下

生物课上

• 老师在讲解花朵的结构, 说好多好多花份落在雌蕊上, 跑的最快的那个才可以和卵子结合, 产生果实.
  

小明举起手,对老师说: 老师, 我明白了, 这就是”先下手为强”.

• 老师在向同学们解释”反哺”现象. 说父母照顾和培育年幼的孩子, 孩子长大了, 要照顾年老的父母.
  

老师举例说, 父母在孩子小的时候,为他们出钱补牙和矫正牙齿, 待父母年纪大了,孩子为父母出钱镶假牙.

小明举起手, 对老师说: 老师,我明白了, 这就是”以牙还牙”.:p

杏林树下

*Lesson 1: Naked Wife*
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with yourshareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure

帅的被人砍

话说湖南一个口音很重的县长到村里作报告：
“兔子们，虾米们，猪尾巴！不要酱瓜，咸菜太贵啦！！
（翻译：同志们，乡民们，注意吧！不要讲话，现在开会啦！！）
县长讲完后，主持人说：“咸菜请香肠酱瓜！”
（翻译：现在请乡长讲话！）
乡长说：“兔子们，今天的饭狗吃了，大家都是大王八！”
（翻译：同志们，今天的饭够吃了，大家都使大碗吧！）
“不要酱瓜，我捡个狗屎给你们舔舔。。。”
（翻译：不要讲话，我讲个故事给你们听听。。。）

简儿

某人到武汉，车子将经过武汉长江大桥时，看见路边写这大牌子“武汉市长江大桥”。这人很纳闷：怎么武汉市长的名字叫‘江大桥’呢？再说了，市长还做什么广告呢？这个时代什么事都有！

杏林树下

还真有点担心哥们要被辣妹子砍呢.

Post by 帅的被人砍
话说湖南一个口音很重的县长到村里作报告：
“兔子们，虾米们，猪尾巴！不要酱瓜，咸菜太贵啦！！
（翻译：同志们，乡民们，注意吧！不要讲话，现在开会啦！！）
县长讲完后，主持人说：“咸菜请香肠酱瓜！”
（翻译：现在请乡长讲话！）
乡长说：“兔子们，今天的饭狗吃了，大家都是大王八！”
（翻译：同志们，今天的饭够吃了，大家都使大碗吧！）
“不要酱瓜，我捡个狗屎给你们舔舔。。。”
（翻译：不要讲话，我讲个故事给你们听听。。。）

杏林树下

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish".
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk.
"I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep.
"I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
Poof! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

杏林树下

A priest offered a lift to a Nun.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand.
But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized "Sorry sister, but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.