xhu

等等吧，在看看，说不定得回国写，还写中英文，GLOBALIZATION嘛。说不定回去三本书会有一点卖相。。。。。。。。。。。等明年再出一本小说集再说了。。。。。。。。

xhu

洋人是绝不懂仗义为何物了。。。。。。。

xhu

Post by xhu;2887888
新作，改了一下，也是为了市场了。。。。。。。

Bypass

I had a dream. The dream was neither enchanting, nor sad, nor desperate. I saw the flesh, and blood, in various places, flesh and blood that was white and red, skull, brain. I was then half-awake, half-sleeping, I saw the Heaven. White doves flapped their wings, silence. Then angels sang Halleluiah. And the sky opened, it was pale and white, specifically, then I saw the immediate light, so shiny that is like the sunshine but paler. Angels sang Halleluiah again, and then I became awake.
I wore my pyjama, and made myself a cup of coffee. Then I picked today’s newspaper from the front door. Sitting down, I sipped coffee, and started to read, the murder headline, then the Financial, and the Entertainment. I felt worried, for the business around the city. I turned into the kitchen, brought Whiskey, poured a glass, and added some of it to my coffee from the glass. Then I drank the whole shot. I felt a little high. Then I had another shot.
Outside of my door, rhododendron was blooming in my front garden, scarlet. The path to front door was wet; it was raining for the morning. The concrete of the wall of my house is light grey; it stood still rigidly in the rain.
I picked a Playboy magazine after a little thought and bought a pack of Rothman King Size in the Tabagie a couple blocks away from my home. Then I went into Provigo opposite the shop. I bought some groceries. It was still morning, about 10AM, when I put the groceries and the Playboy magazine in my car parking in the parking lot. I went into the bar underground in the basement of Tabagie, and I had a beer and thought, what the heck, God will forgive me. It was not the first time I did that.
It wasn’t too bad, the TV program this morning. The View, I watched it a little, I often watch the View, and they made you laugh. At noon, it was the news; I turned the TV off and had a sandwich for lunch, alone, by myself.
I was married a couple of years ago, to my wife from China. I was also from China about sixteen years ago to this place, Montreal, Canada. I studied and worked for a while, and then I married her when I was working in US. I quitted my job in the US and came back to Canada to sponsor her here. But when she came here, and found I didn’t have a job and steady income, she left me and went for her study here in Canada. She stayed.
I was bored in the afternoon. I went on Internet to the chat room. Sometimes I really liked chat rooms, but also sometimes I found it made little sense. I told my dream this morning to people in the chat room; you don’t know what they said. They said, “get a job, indulge yourself.”
I had another glass of liquor, and started to read the Playboy magazine. I love women. Here they were, naked in front of me, on the magazine. I thought, there is no end of life; I am thirty six, separated, there was no reason I can’t read the magazine. Time passed three; I had a nap, with the Playboy Magazine laying beside me on my bed.
That was my day, seven days a week, 24 hours a day. I was just too tired. Too tired of everything, anything, marriage, love, religion and life. About five O’clock, I woke up. A sales man called me and offered me a vacation to Disney World package for ninety nine dollars, I said no. I urgently need to keep every cent of the welfare money I receive, when I receive it. Anyway, I went to Disney World once already.
Are there miracles in life? I expect it, I need to be saved. Bypassing the day like this did not make much sense, boring and dull, drought, and liquor. I’ve had this liquor problem for quite a while. I remembered the dream I had this morning. Did God come to save my soul? But still it was, my life went on like this for years. I had no hope. Hope, hope is the only medicine, I expected, God, how could it be? My life.
I am a Christian, baptized thirteen years ago in a local Montreal church, when I was still in the university. My school days weren’t too bad, life was hopeful by the time. I tried to become good in my church, attending Bible study groups and Sunday services. I used to dress always in suit to attend the Sunday services, never in jeans. And I never missed Sunday service when I was young. I think God loved me by that time, even though I smoked a lot, nearly a pack of cigarettes a day. I was passionate for church activities, and I remembered the time when I was young and happy.
Dinner time came, mom cooked for us. We were having chicken, beef and broccoli, and tofu soup. I poured myself a glass of red wine, also got two glasses for my mom and dad. Red, the wine in the glasses, made me think about the dream this morning, flesh and blood in my dream. I sipped. Dinner went well; dishes were plain, just so plain. Mom added little salt for the dishes. I tried to talk to my mom during the dinner, but I couldn‘t. No, I didn’t want to talk. So we just ate, plainly.
I am obsessed with my life now, women, men, people, kids and things around me. I am obsessed with the subways stops. I live very far away, in the suburb and often I come to downtown and have to take the subway. I often keep on counting the subways stops before I reach my final destination, prominently, five stops more, four, three. Often I rested in thoughts in the running subway, and when a couple of stops passed, I feel glad. I wouldn’t mind if I lived close to downtown and take a couple of subways stops.
I am a pretty fearless man, and many times I think I only sometimes have fears for God. And I think His mightiness will save me and bring me to Heaven when I die, I don’t know it is so quick and it is happening now. I have metamorphosis and I am ill. I do pray.
Alcohol kills some of my time, times to buy it at SAQ and times to drink it and have a little highness. Dreadful, my life is now. The only thing I liked in my life now is that I read quite often. Fiction and poetry are my true love. I started to write when I was thirty three, with whole many years of reading experiences and writing workshop from the church I attended in California. I especially attended the writing workshop. That taught me a lot.
At eight, I sat down in front of my desk and my computer. I started to write, my experience and my story, poetry. I suddenly felt that I am hopeful; I could become a good writer. I looked at my desk lamp; the light is warm and shiny. I thought about it. And I turned my thoughts into words, sentences, urgently. Yes, I could write.
Night came fast, I was still sitting in front of my desk, writing. Now it was the time for bed. Should I say prayer to God before I go to bed and ask Him for forgiveness? I thought about the dream again, maybe God was really coming to save my soul. Yes, save my soul, God, please, I will be good. I thought God could create miracles.
The next morning, I passed the cemetery near Henri Bourassa; I especially went in to see the people buried there. May they rest in Heaven, I thought. I lighted a cigarette, and sat on the chair in the cemetery, and rested in thoughts.

这个是有点艺术效果了。。。。。。。PURE改成PALE。

xhu

Post by xhu;2893520
这个是有点艺术效果了。。。。。。。PURE改成PALE。

有点病态说不定能卖点，一定即时通告。。。。。。。

xhu

Post by xhu;2893520
这个是有点艺术效果了。。。。。。。PURE改成PALE。

沉重点，其他的倒没什么。。。。。。

xhu

Post by xhu;2893083
写成阳春百雪，是有一定自我的因素的，本来嘛，想靠这个在北美出个名，混个出身，能多卖几本书。想不到这个犯了洋人的忌讳了，人家独尊天下的市场，你要来分杯羹，人家凭什么要为你中国人造势，打造名气，你写的越好人家越不看重你。。。。。。。。。。加拿大人纯朴点，比较讲钱的因素，我一个作家，也赚不来几万几十万，所以加人还好说话点。可老美就不行了，开头嘛，人家看你搞这个，有点儿兴趣想看看你搞得怎么样，搞不搞得下去，可后来你发现自己挺好，英文写得有声有色，人家老美就不干了。你中国人搞这个写英文古典，还把不把我们看在眼里了，中国人常说的关公门前耍大刀啊！我说呢，你美国人怎么拉，就你们写啊写的就那些东西，我还看不上眼呢。我想人家是火了我了，我还火大那，在你美国出版，书没卖几本，名基本没出，可读过我作品的美加洋人何止几千几万，人家读者早就记住我沙雁了。哈哈，我免费让人家读嘛，人家何乐而不为，偶尔还加个评语，我更乐了，加上我老王卖瓜，自认自家的瓜比别人的香。你能耐我何？？？？

老王卖瓜的心态很好啊！瓜都是一样的，就我老王的好，就我老王的更好卖，老王有境界啊！

xhu

我出的三本书的英文网站，有出版社订书的链接的，

http://shayanhu.webs.com

ps. webs.com是免费的，大家可以试试。。。。。。。。。

xhu

体察了一下，现实吃人才是对的啊！什么旧道德吃人，没道德都在吃现实。放眼四海的真理啊！鲁迅误人子弟，新体系误人子弟。

xhu

Champagne, marinated, ice cream, coffee and tea


The racetrack is the hottest spot in the summer. Racers are all engaged to start. Audiences are getting popcorn, ice cream and hot dogs. It is hot and sweaty. T-shirts sales people are going here and there to sell race car T-shirts. Personnel of the F-1 formula race are working with their fullest potential.
Summer is the best season of this place. Sunshine, trees, flowers, campground, and swimming pools are people's most love. Sweet smiles on girls’ faces and steady please and thank you from guys' mouths in every shop you visit make sure you are still in heaven. Grilled chicken, marinated, fries and salad, dishes everyone wants to order in all seasons come into everyone's home; a gas powered BBQ oven in one's back yard is definitely an asset. When time past 5pm, lines of traffic on the high way facing the coming down sun in the slightly reddish and golden shiny sky move slowly and quietly. TVs just finish American soap opera and get ready to let everyone know what happen in the world and the city today. When the sky turns dark, local restaurants, bars, dance clubs and downtown streets are full with people's laughs, jokes and humors. Restless city. The next morning, an alarm wakes you up. After coffee, toast and a TV newsbreak and a couple of phones calls to the bank and the insurance company and stockbrokers, you are on your way to work with your new Pontiac Grand AM. At the lunch break. Grilled chicken, marinated with fries come across your mind, one more thing, salad and coffee, maybe Pepsi.
Seasonal alternation comes fast, moments of glory on maples and oaks with some aged dark brownish grayish barks slipped away from my mind. Yearly sea brushed natural stones on the shore standing tall and round from coast to coast are all over in this place. The prime time on newscast is always fast paced at clock speed. Slowly, the first crystal shiny snow flick drops to this Northern land. By the time Christmas comes, exhausted year and passionate people in the city and the country are all celebrating in their home beside their fireplace or at dinner parties. Nut Cracker and Tin Soldier are the best Christmas shows here.
On the other side of the earth, in the early morning northern China, traditional hot soymilk with a deep fried historical bread stick takes everyone's dinner table. At about the same time, Tiananmen Square and parks scattered throughout the city fill with people at all ages practicing Qi Kong and Chinese martial arts. After 8am, streets are full of bicycles and motor vehicles. The city gets busy. Beijing has lots of government departments, agencies, and universities and research institutes and companies from local and all over the world, as the capital city of China. Shopping centerrest, supermarkets and stores in the city open their doors at nine. They are the best places for visitors, housewives and some others. Sports centers and gyms in the morning are not very busy, but personnel are all looking at engaging for the afternoon. One quarter past ten, an old retired factory worker brings his tea cup, joining two others carrying their tea cups and Chinese chess set at the corner, heading to the park two blocks north. When the lunch time comes, Chinese fried chicken competing with Kentucky fried chicken beside McDonalds does not attract a lot of customers' attention, rather in beef noodle restaurant next to them, a line is formed. Well, McDonalds then, impatient young men and well dressed office women are arguing. Their older aged male manager say, let's have Korean BBQ beef. Of course, the check will be billed on corporate credit card. Time past three, busy phone lines still make receptionist headache transferring callers to managers, associates, agents and others. By 5pm, one associate still hasn’t figured out how he will finish his own work, the manager requested him to work it out for the remaining of the day. He will get a good pay for his overtime, and if he did a good job, he would be better rated for the once a year yearly bonus. And his good work will be directly reported confidentially to the company headquarter in Hong Kong. That means the next time his manager went to a different department, his record would be shown on company president's name list. Well, 7% GDP growth in modern China every year does not come from nothing, and it does not lead to nothing.
Back to this place, passionate high school students carry their beautiful school bags to and from their educational institutes. They study almost the same as people elsewhere, one more important subject they study is the moral. School districts directors always have these in their mind. After school in the afternoon, people always stop by at the ice cream shop in the corner and buy a delicious ice cream. Math class is the top priority in high school education here. Well, engineers here earn a lot, and life isn't easy. Students here wish to become a doctor, a dentist, an engineer, a scientist or an artist since very young, and they work hard. Back to China, adults always ask young boys and girls, What do you want to be in your future? Answers are the same. I wanted to be a teacher, I said, I remembered. School teachers are considered the most godly career there. Beer, please, here I am when the waiter passes by. I was smiling at my choice while I was having my beer; it is a brave one to become king of monkeys.
Time goes by fast, arts, science, literature and engineering always take my mind. It has been quite a while since my last employment. Last one was short. Linear fit with a suitable least square value did make computer on my desktop running smoothly wild. By 2004, an advanced 64 bits AMD commercial personal computer enters into the market place, before that, IBM Super Blue and Chinese Galaxy competed with each other in their processing speed for building nuclear bombs. A couple years ago, Romania’s Kasterof defeated IBM Deep Blue with a score 3:2 is still record breaking for high speed computing. It has been quite some time since the invention of this device. Now almost everyone has obtained one at home here, and of course, the country is computerized and everything looks running at the computer speed. Time after 5pm, lines of traffic facing the golden shining sunset is still calm and quiet. Cities in this continent relaxed after NYSE, NASDAQ and TSE closed their last bid.
It only takes a while standing in a line to order a cheeseburger at McDonalds, maybe it takes a little shorter at Harvey’s. For a couple dollars more, you can get a good grilled marinated chicken meal. Students at campus can get a cheaper price on their meals. Coffee, Pepsi and Coke do not sell expensive too. 6pm news session specially talked about mad-cow disease, anyway, antibiotic bred beef does not make you a better appetite, even with a top bloody-Mary cocktail. People here buy cheap market price chicken at well-regulated supermarket. Life isn't easy.
The time for high school students going to colleges has come. Med-school, dental-school, law school, science, engineering and arts and education and social science are on their lists. They usually get what they want; lost ones go into their second or third choice of their applications. Well, education with specific religious or moral ingredients takes every students' and school districts directors mind. Top priority in this place is not easy too.
At the start of college students' academic life, well-disciplined seniors do not give their young student fellow an easier time. After a couple of lecture classes, student fellows always say, piece of cake. Like tackling problems do not need much time. Physics, chemistry, math, biology with some social science electives filled with one's busy schedule. They now want tutors in their spare time in order to get a good grade in their next quiz despite of only regular lecture hours. After fully completing their exam books, they went home, instead regretting about the mistakes they made, they move forward to the one and the next one exam. When the spring break comes, people skiing in the countryside mountains are most young college students. On Saturday night, downtown pubs and dance clubs filled with strange and familiar faces in the dark remind one to have a beer here sometimes again. Unlike those in China, professors here never rank their students; likewise, they do not announce one's grades in the classes. Still, straight A's never come easy. But Bs or Cs can make one graduate too.
Time has approached the final exam; students are busy at preparing themselves for the exam. The exams are not easy, most students can make it, and some of them, can perform very good and obtain good results. There are some students among student fellows cannot make to the end of the competition. They lost the race in the first round. Winning students went on for their college education, and spent stressful time over and over again until they made to the end of the race. Sometimes, they play PC games with an advanced ATI Rage-Pro video graphic card. Lost ones are not easy, they may want to start again after initiating some action on their own behalf starting a different program or repeating classes they failed. Of course, more caution will take place deliberately this time. They will stop saying things like piece of cake and continue to be stressful. Some of these young men may decide directly to abandon what they have already made and go on for a different life after consulting with their parents, like joining the work force. Highly competitive environment is not built for everyone.
Graduation does not come easy. Alternation of seasons makes one think and feel matters differently. After the successful moment when the school principle congratulates one with a satisfied smile, he/she moves forward to dive into the pool of crowdedness. Some may want to continue their education towards higher, and then, they engage themselves into a new sound familiar racetrack or brand new ones. Life went on and on, so was the race.
When the street light turned red early evening, my cab stopped right at the front of the traffic, a song ...doctor and dentist, she drives all day...playing on FM radio got into my brain. It seems the best human genome can offer spreads wide here. I think the song was sung by a good singer of its kinds. Right, doctors, dentists, lawyers, scientists and engineers and some others are the best careers in this world. Racers are on the right track in this fast paced world. Modern computers have a glorious history of more than twenty years already, as the most frontier and advanced technology human ever invented.
After having a burger as my lunch, I went into a cafe, and ordered a cup of coffee. After sitting down, I figure what I eat do not relate to what I do, really, I don't know why. Don't know what others may think though. After I finish my coffee, I walked along on the street. Sunshine in the early afternoon in the spring here is warm and comfortable. Strangers with familiar English accent walk while talking to others on the downtown streets. Movie advertising on the main street caught me, the American movie Lost in Translation would be the one on my must watch list. Life became less stressful after my last employment.
F-1 formula racetrack is still hot. Hot and steamy weather condition makes people sweat a lot. One round after the other, fully engaged racers driving their sponsors' race car are just in their best mood to challenge each other. Excited fans and audiences are weaving their hands and T-shirts and cheering for the excitement. Elsewhere, the swimming pools are full of people, so are the gyms and the weight rooms. After the NHL Hockey season, NBA, NFL and baseball courts are the new hot spots. Selected from students, sports professionals are engaging themselves for whatever competition they face in their career and their life. The best out of the best enters the championship, the world championship, Olympics and the winter Olympics. Champagne does not taste easy, but it surely tastes good.

xhu

“清流集”在LULU出版了，(英文书名，QING LIU BOOK)。我的中文旧诗集，89首。请见以下链接订书。

http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/qing-liu-book/16176918

ps. 试卖期间，5%折扣。