i am nobody

Post by iloveall00;2284594
morning leave white floor color cloud between,
thousand kilometers river mountain one day return,
two shore monkey's voice cry not stop,
light boat has already over ten thousands mountains.

谁给英译中一下？

朝辞白帝

经过B9点化，我们都会翻译诗了，同贺！

i am nobody

（原文）The riverside`s green willow
Is the Sunset`s bride ,
The beauty`s shadow in beam wave,
Flowing in my heart.

The Green Nymphoides on the Ooze,
Floating on the bottom of river,
In the wave of Cambridge`s river,
I am reconciled to be an aquatic.

（修改后）The riparian green  willow,
is the Sunset`s bride.
The beauty`s shadow in the sparkling waves,
lingers in my heart.

The Green Nymphoides in the Ooze,
Sways leisurely in the river.
In the slight wave of Cambridge`s river,
I would be an aquatic.

比以前好一些，但还需努力。

Riparian 不如Riverside，诗歌应朗朗上口，宜用通俗易懂的词
Is the Sunset's bride曲解了原诗，原诗“是夕阳中的新娘" 并非“是夕阳的新娘”
Sparkling 比原来Beam Wave好很多，看到这个词可以在脑海里产生一个波光潋滟的影像
lingers也比原来Flowing in my heart好十万里，它表现出“萦绕，迟迟不肯离去的”那种心绪。

不明白为什么用Green Nymphoides in the Ooze，至少用大写是没有什么道理的。
Sways 用得很好，能感觉得到那种 水草在水中婀娜多姿摇曳的曼妙姿态，但原译文中on the bottom of the river最好不变，因为既是徐志摩的原文，而且也能反映出河水清澈见底那种意境。

另外，题目翻译不好，Farewell the Cambridge Again, 将farewell当成及物动词用不对。似乎题目翻译成以下之一更好些：

1，Goodbye again, Cambridge
2，Saying goodbye to Cambridge again
3, Farewell again, Cambridge